It's Okay To Cry

My little green frog feels very flat today...
And that's the extent to my deep thinking today. If only because in about 2 minutes I have to go analyze an article and then write a paper answering questions about it for Logic class. Which will take up more brain power than I have right now. And so, you get the weak frog logic.

It suddenly occured to me this evening that the next week and a half before my brother's wedding will go much to fast. I have 3 very hard tests next Monday and Tuesday, and 2 papers due next week as well. I'm not sure why my teachers decide mid-terms should happen in September this year, but I'll suffer through. Actually however, midterms is only a month away. This is a very scary thought when you figure out the next two weeks are crazy before the wedding, and then it's only another 2-3 weeks until mid-terms. SCARY THOUGHT! It's amazing me how fast this semester is going. I've only been here alittle over 4 weeks, but it feels like forever.

I start my new job on Monday! I'm kinda scared but excited as well. We had our first "King's Kids" program at my church tonight. I'm helping with the 5th and 6th grade girls who have major attitudes, which makes it very fun and interesting. :-) <--See, big smile. I also gave blood today, which adds to my tired feeling. I've given 4 pints in my life so far. Which means 4 more and I get a gallon pin! Which is kinda gross when you think about it. I mean, who wants a gallon of blood to be proud of? Plus, we only have what 8 or 9 pints of blood in our bodies? Which means when I've given a gallon (8 pints) that I'll have given all my blood at some point. Kinda weird. But it's a great cause and they love my blood 'cause I'm *AB Positive* which is the second rarest form of blood. It also means if I ever need blood, I'm kinda hard to give to. So give blood! Especially if you're AB Positive or Negative 'cause someday I might need yours, and you might need mine. So that's my life today. Kinda boring I know, but like I said, I don't have brain power for much more.

I'm having a very hard time focusing this last week and this week because of all the stuff that's going on personally. So pray for me if you will! I need an extra measure of grace and strength right now. And send stuff to make me smile please! Also, if you read this, yes I'm saying it again, COMMENT!! I'll do my best to respond nicely to any free stuff in the mail. I love fun socks! I'll do my best not to make myself a hermit. Well that's it for me except to say that I hope to make up all these boring just like stuff posts with better, deeper, more theological posts later on. But for now, my frog is squished. My brain is numb and I don't have time to spend working through deep thoughts. I have to many to figure out for classes, especially Logic class. I'm still nurturing my thoughts on hope and heaven, but they're still waiting for a better time.

Thank you for all your prayers, and if you want to be wonderful and mail me fun stuff, just email me for my mailing address. I think I sound like I'm begging, but yeah, pretty much I am. Seriously, sometimes I think I've been forgotten by people I once knew. Then I stop being so selfish and realize that there are so many people who tell me that they are praying for me. I guess sometimes I just need to be reassured of that. Which is where God comes in. He is the only way I'm able to cope with everything. I'm so thankful for His Grace. We were talking about grace in Intro to Counseling today, and I just about started to cry. Like cry really hard. I was thinking of my brother and all the things that are causing stress there, as well as all the school work, starting a new job, and I'm just really missing everyone a lot right now. When you add God's grace into it, it's the making for tears. Considering I was in the middle of class it wouldn't have been very appropriate, but God is ever reminding me that He gives more grace.

Gianni is playing a beautiful piece of music on the new piano here in the lounge right now. It amazes me how well she plays. She never acts like she can play or sing very well, but she can! It blesses my heart so much. So my dear sisters and brothers in Christ, go listen to some praise music. Stop and focus on God for 2 seconds at least. Forget about yourself, quit being so selfish, and remember God's grace. Take a second to "Be still and know". Love the one who made you.
I was just reminded about how blessed I am. Charity just came up and put her hands over my eyes. I was trying to guess who it was but of course she couldn't hear me. I finally turned around and realized who it was. We had a good conversation about how church was tonight. I wanted to cry again however, because I realized she can't hear the beautiful music being played right now. We take so many things for granted! Even though I can't sing at all, I love music sooooo much. It touches me and moves me in so many ways. So tonight I take time to appreciate the beauty of what I'm hearing. It might make me cry, but that's ok, I think I need to cry. Take care dear friends. I miss you and am so thankful for you.