Tuesday, March 29, 2005


So my paper was handed in yesterday. Nevermore to be touched by me. Well, until he hands it back that is. Hopefully it meets the teacher's approval. I don't think I wrote heresy at least. So yes, on to more loads of homework. I do get to play a little intramural volleyball tonight, which should be lots of fun.

Saturday, March 26, 2005


I am in the throngs of a research paper for Doctrine 2 class. It has to relate to the subject of Pneumatology, which is the study of the Holy Spirit for those of you like me who didn't know that. I'm writing about Spiritual Gifts and I'm ready to throw it out the window. I wish we could just all agree so there wouldn't be so many opinions. Granted, differing opinions are helpful in a research paper, but frankly, there are just to many. But, I will be pouring myself into this all day and hopefully will get it done by sleepy time tonight. Hopefully it will be quality work as well. :-)

I'm sure you're aware that tomorrow is Easter, and presuming that I get my paper done, I will be going to spend the day with some friends at their extension church. The family they stay with are old friends of my parents, so I know I'm welcome. It'll be much better than being lonely on campus all day.

Well enough chatter, I'm off to bury myself in my research.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

About the New Look

I read back over my previous post and I now feel the need to talk a little bit about why I changed the look of this blog.

Here's what I had to say in the last post: (just in case you're fingers are too tired to scroll down and find it :-)

I've changed the look of this blog, because as with much of my life, it's changed a lot since coming to school. I'm not the person I was this summer when I started this blog, and praise the Lord for that. So the look has changed to one of a harbor seen. Because as the new title and description now say, I'm on a journey of trusting the Lord. That's what life is as a Christian, glorifying God with everything I do, and trusting Him for EVERYTHING.I hope you like the new look.

So yes, there is now a lighthouse prominent on this page. As I said, my life has changed so much since I started this blog. Most of it for the better. I don't want to go back to the person I was when this started. Being a Christian now means more to me than it ever did before.
Oh I was a Christian before, and I thought I knew about loving the Lord, but now, it's so different. I'm learning what it really means to love the Lord, and to do it with your whole heart. I'm learning what true dependence on God is, and what true submission is. I've learned that my entire life has to be all about God's glory. I've said it before, but I don't think I ever really understood it. I'm still learning and trying to understand, something I guess I'll spend most of my life doing.

I hope I never stop learning. When I think of all the things I could learn here at Bible College, 4 years doesn't seem to be enough. There's so much I want to learn, and to learn it all would take more than 4 years. And yet I know there is a point when we must go out and start another part of life. As far as I know, that's still 3 years into the future, but it was on my mind today.

Our Missions conference started today during chapel. We have meetings tonight through Thursday evening, and workshops all day Wednesday-Friday. I've been thinking a lot lately about Summer plans, and plans for my future. Not that I need to know what they all are, but it's been on my mind and heart. I've felt tired when thinking about having to do something other than going to classes and my schedule here, almost like it was to much work to do something else. But today, I ran into the future.

Not my literal future, as far as I know, but I was offered a glimpse of someone's life. As a member of Heartbeat for Missions, I and a guy student are responsible to host a missionary couple. Their names are Roberto and Patricia Cuehlo, and they're on deputation to be missionaries in Brazil. They both grew up in Brazil, Patricia as a native and Roberto as a Missionary Kid. As we sat and ate lunch, I was sharing what brought me here to school, and Roberto was talking to another student about coming to Brazil. As we shared I suddenly remembered why I'm here on campus. I saw in them a heart to serve the Lord, and to be used of them. As Roberto teased this guy about being God's messenger to tell him he needed to go to Brazil when he finished school, I suddenly wondered if someday that would be me ready to go, or telling others to go. And I suddenly wanted it to be. The tiredness was gone, and I remembered my purpose.

It amazes me at times how easy it is to lose sight of what's really important. I don't know where I'll be 4 years from now, or what ministry opportunities I'll have in the meantime, but I do remember who I'm serving. I'm here at school to learn to serve the Lord better in order to glorify Him with my life. Even when I was remembering that I was here at school for the Lord, I had not taken time to remember my passion. I saw a possible future today, in the Cuehlos. I saw God working 2 lives together to accomplish His purpose. As I shared my story with them, I was reminded of the awesomeness of God in bringing me here, and how He was in control every step of the way. God is so sovereign.

So I have a new name for my blog and a new background. The background is that of a lighthouse on a harbor, and the title is "A Journey of Trust". It is such because of all of this. Using the analogy of a ship on the sea, there are times in life when the waves come strong and I feel that this ship of life is going to sink. The storm is so strong that I can't see the light from the lighthouse. But yet I know it's there. As I seek to make this journey, it becomes one of trust. There are times when we simple have to let go and trust that God will get us to that harbor and that lighthouse. It may never be until Heaven, but we must continue on in the journey with trust in our Heavenly Father.

So I choose to have "A Journey of Trust". It truly is a journey, because I never trust completely like I should. There are days when I feel I have trusted with everything I have, then the next day I take it all back and try to do it myself again. But I keep on the journey to trust. Knowing that it's only through Christ that I can even have trust, let alone life and salvation.

A song lyric comes to mind right now. "Calmer of the Storm"
For even though I wish that God would calm this storm, I know His way is perfect, and that I truly just need to trust Him.
The first chorus contains this line:
"There on the storm I am learning to let go Of the will that I so long to control"
The last chorus however, contains this line:
"There on the storm, teach me God to understand Of the Will that I just cannot control"
What a change in perspective.

"Let me not control this will and this storm Lord, but rather let me understand that I cannot control it. And if I never understand, well that's ok to. Because you are great and awesome, and worthy to be praised. I give it all to you, and trust YOU and you alone to lead me on this Journey of Trust."

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Trust and a New Look

The fact that there are no posts from February should say something about my life at this point. I'm not totally sure what beyond the fact that I've been incredibly busy and trying to focus on the important things. I haven't totally succeeded in that, but I'm trying. Above all, The Lord is Good!

My parents were down south (for Minnesota) this weekend, and we got to spend some good time together. I hadn't seen them since Christmas break so it was very, very good to see them.

School is going well, busy but good overall. I've been trying to spend a lot more time in my books and studying so I think that's helping a lot. I'm certainly learning many great and new things.

I was laid off of my job affective about 2 weeks ago, so that's given me some more time lately. Granted some of it's been taken up with unexpected things, but I have managed to take at least one nap. This afternoon I'm planning on a very, very long nap as well. I have been staying somewhat busy working on campus by taking mail to the post office in the afternoons and cleaning the bathrooms and entryway of the dining hall in the evenings.

Next week from Tuesday evening until Friday around noon we have our annual Missions conference on campus. Along with a guy on campus I'm hosting a missionary couple for the week by introducing them in their sessions and being there for whatever they need while they're here. It should be an awesome opportunity to get to know them and learn a great deal. They also cancel classes for Wednesday-Friday, so that's always a bonus.

Starting that Friday after the conference, we are officially on Spring Break. Praise the Lord! Although I'm astounded at how quickly this semester has gone. Testimony to that is the fact that I haven't posted in over a month. It's been crazy but good. I'm learning a lot.

I'm definitely learning a lot about humility and trusting the Lord. I'm especially learning this by not doing it. Yeah, I know. But God is faithful and continues to pick me up and set my feet on a rock.

I'm excited to be home and holding babies (Emma particularily) and seeing those of you at home. Hopefully it will be a profitable week where homework is concerned because I really need to get ahead on some things as well as write a few papers.

I've changed the look of this blog, because as with much of my life, it's changed a lot since coming to school. I'm not the person I was this summer when I started this blog, and praise the Lord for that. So the look has changed to one of a harbor seen. Because as the new title and description now say, I'm on a journey of trusting the Lord. That's what life is as a Christian, glorifying God with everything I do, and trusting Him for EVERYTHING.
I hope you like the new look.

Well that's it for now, except to say thanks for coming back to read after so long. Take care and keep trusting the Lord.