About the New Look

I read back over my previous post and I now feel the need to talk a little bit about why I changed the look of this blog.

Here's what I had to say in the last post: (just in case you're fingers are too tired to scroll down and find it :-)

I've changed the look of this blog, because as with much of my life, it's changed a lot since coming to school. I'm not the person I was this summer when I started this blog, and praise the Lord for that. So the look has changed to one of a harbor seen. Because as the new title and description now say, I'm on a journey of trusting the Lord. That's what life is as a Christian, glorifying God with everything I do, and trusting Him for EVERYTHING.I hope you like the new look.

So yes, there is now a lighthouse prominent on this page. As I said, my life has changed so much since I started this blog. Most of it for the better. I don't want to go back to the person I was when this started. Being a Christian now means more to me than it ever did before.
Oh I was a Christian before, and I thought I knew about loving the Lord, but now, it's so different. I'm learning what it really means to love the Lord, and to do it with your whole heart. I'm learning what true dependence on God is, and what true submission is. I've learned that my entire life has to be all about God's glory. I've said it before, but I don't think I ever really understood it. I'm still learning and trying to understand, something I guess I'll spend most of my life doing.

I hope I never stop learning. When I think of all the things I could learn here at Bible College, 4 years doesn't seem to be enough. There's so much I want to learn, and to learn it all would take more than 4 years. And yet I know there is a point when we must go out and start another part of life. As far as I know, that's still 3 years into the future, but it was on my mind today.

Our Missions conference started today during chapel. We have meetings tonight through Thursday evening, and workshops all day Wednesday-Friday. I've been thinking a lot lately about Summer plans, and plans for my future. Not that I need to know what they all are, but it's been on my mind and heart. I've felt tired when thinking about having to do something other than going to classes and my schedule here, almost like it was to much work to do something else. But today, I ran into the future.

Not my literal future, as far as I know, but I was offered a glimpse of someone's life. As a member of Heartbeat for Missions, I and a guy student are responsible to host a missionary couple. Their names are Roberto and Patricia Cuehlo, and they're on deputation to be missionaries in Brazil. They both grew up in Brazil, Patricia as a native and Roberto as a Missionary Kid. As we sat and ate lunch, I was sharing what brought me here to school, and Roberto was talking to another student about coming to Brazil. As we shared I suddenly remembered why I'm here on campus. I saw in them a heart to serve the Lord, and to be used of them. As Roberto teased this guy about being God's messenger to tell him he needed to go to Brazil when he finished school, I suddenly wondered if someday that would be me ready to go, or telling others to go. And I suddenly wanted it to be. The tiredness was gone, and I remembered my purpose.

It amazes me at times how easy it is to lose sight of what's really important. I don't know where I'll be 4 years from now, or what ministry opportunities I'll have in the meantime, but I do remember who I'm serving. I'm here at school to learn to serve the Lord better in order to glorify Him with my life. Even when I was remembering that I was here at school for the Lord, I had not taken time to remember my passion. I saw a possible future today, in the Cuehlos. I saw God working 2 lives together to accomplish His purpose. As I shared my story with them, I was reminded of the awesomeness of God in bringing me here, and how He was in control every step of the way. God is so sovereign.

So I have a new name for my blog and a new background. The background is that of a lighthouse on a harbor, and the title is "A Journey of Trust". It is such because of all of this. Using the analogy of a ship on the sea, there are times in life when the waves come strong and I feel that this ship of life is going to sink. The storm is so strong that I can't see the light from the lighthouse. But yet I know it's there. As I seek to make this journey, it becomes one of trust. There are times when we simple have to let go and trust that God will get us to that harbor and that lighthouse. It may never be until Heaven, but we must continue on in the journey with trust in our Heavenly Father.

So I choose to have "A Journey of Trust". It truly is a journey, because I never trust completely like I should. There are days when I feel I have trusted with everything I have, then the next day I take it all back and try to do it myself again. But I keep on the journey to trust. Knowing that it's only through Christ that I can even have trust, let alone life and salvation.

A song lyric comes to mind right now. "Calmer of the Storm"
For even though I wish that God would calm this storm, I know His way is perfect, and that I truly just need to trust Him.
The first chorus contains this line:
"There on the storm I am learning to let go Of the will that I so long to control"
The last chorus however, contains this line:
"There on the storm, teach me God to understand Of the Will that I just cannot control"
What a change in perspective.

"Let me not control this will and this storm Lord, but rather let me understand that I cannot control it. And if I never understand, well that's ok to. Because you are great and awesome, and worthy to be praised. I give it all to you, and trust YOU and you alone to lead me on this Journey of Trust."