Friday, April 27, 2012

Give a Little

I found a blog several months back, and I immediately fell in love. I found it about a day before it went viral online due to an amazing post about NOT having to love every moment of motherhood every single day. I laughed and cried at her posts and thought I'd found pure gold. And then, the bombshell. She posted something that I could not in any form agree with, especially under the heading of "Christian". So I stopped plugging it to friends and stopped reading dailly. But I still catch up now and then, because one of her whole premises is that we as Mommies need to stick together, even when we disagree. No judging each other, because we're all in this together. And while I do think God calls us to be discerning and not to accept everything or every action that we come across, I think she has a good basic point.

We as Momma's have it hard enough. We struggle daily with our children and a culture and maybe a workplace and a community that doesn't always or ever support our roles as Mom's. So why do we fight each other? I may not agree with the way you "train" or don't your children to sleep, or letting them suck their thumb, or what they can or cannot eat. But guess what? They are YOUR children! Just as mine are mine.

So while I may still roll my eyes at times or cringe at some judgements some parents make, I'm trying to train my heart to be more prayerful and less judgemental of other parents efforts. We're hopefully all trying here, and I know I for one am trying to do my best to raise my son and future children the best I can.

I will be 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow. And I'm super lonely lately. ~Physically it's gotten harder to be active and about with Levi. And sleep is broken and fitfull. There's so much more I coudl say physically but whining is what gets me lonely. ~Emotionally I'm anxious (don't preach, I know the verse) about when and how this baby is coming. I'm worn out from my independant strong-willed 2 year-old who is pushing every boundary and I don't always push back like I should. ~Spiritually I'm dry and thirsty. I'm wanting to seek God but feel like I'm just struggling in the dark due to my own sin and attitudes. ~Maritally I miss focusing on my husband. This pregnancy has consumed some of me at this point and I'm not a very good friend to a man whose love language is time spent doing things he enjoys. But he's gracious, incredibly so. I don't deserve him. And I miss spending time alone with him. Baby-sitters seem to be in short supply these days. ~Mentally I'm exhausted by the concern about this baby. It is totally a miracle of God that I'm still pregnant, but even miracles make us worried. My body is not perfect, there have been issues with any pregnancy I've had, half of which have ended so far in the death of our babies. While I don't take blame that isn't there for those, there's still the concern my body could fail this baby and it all go haywire in seconds.
And it's hard to describe any of this to anyone. So I'm lonely. I keep hoping when this baby comes I'll "get back out there" and be a better friend. But then I wonder who I'm kidding. I'm not sure I've been that great of one to start with. I guess I just wish my best friend lived next door. :)

So the point being, with all the struggles we face as Mom's, let's give each other a little grace shall we? And maybe ourselves too while we're at it. And let's all strive to make this journey a little less lonely for each other.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Maternity Photo Bomb :)

It's April 4th. I'm still pregnant. If we make it to Saturday it will be 34 weeks. I've never been pregnant that long. And it's definitely looking like I will be this time. If not longer. That's just crazy. I was reading the post I wrote back on January 31st. I was 24 weeks pregnant. I was praying and hoping for at least 10 more weeks without bedrest, and here we are. And not just hanging on by our fingernails. We're cruising. Nothing has happened to make us (Me, Andrew, Our AMAZING Doctor) think that I won't go 36+ weeks. This baby is proving to be tough stuff and making all our concerns seem silly. Ha, actually it's God and His amazing power and a few people I know who are praying I get huge and uncomfortable and go really long. Yeah, I've reached the first 2 of those. :) Seriously, I could really complain if I wanted to, but I won't, because I'm trying to toughen up.

One amazing gift in this pregnancy? We were actually able to do some family/maternity/Levi's 2 year photos. I just got the CD with all of them today and I'm so thrilled and overwhelmed. (Here's the facebook link to the dear friend who did them for us, she's great!)

This actually takes a bit of courage for me to post a few of these photos. I can't say that I love my pregnant body. Because I do look at the extra inches and pounds that maybe didn't have to be there and then start to critique myself. But here's the thing, even if I never lose the weight, if I'm always a little bit "fluffier" than I want to be, it's worth it.
This baby is a prayed for miracle, and no matter what, I will be thankful. And with the struggle that eating and not eating and being full and not being hungry and starving and blood sugar has been this pregnancy, who the heck really cares?
Okay enough words, now for some good stuff, like the amazing cuteness of my son.