This Is A Call, For Faith Like That, To Come Back To Me

I am so overwhelmed with the presence of God right now. Out of curiosity, I did a dictionary search to see what the real definition of "presence" really was. And what should my eyes behold, but "3: an invisible spiritual being felt to be nearby".
Many things went through my head right then, but the one that I chose to reach out and grab ahold of, was the fact that I am so glad that our relationship with God is not based on feelings and emotions.

If God were only nearby when I felt Him, I would be lost indeed.
All weekend, in the midst of the craziness, I felt as though some invisible thing was shouting at me that I soon have to say another bunch of good-byes. It was the underlying tone of my whole weekend, and it sucked.
I hate saying good-bye. It hurts, it's painful, and it's an ever present part of life. I'm comforted in a some small part that I'm not the only one leaving again. I should be comforted knowing that it's been a wonderful summer full of friends, laughter, tears, and growing closer to the Lord, but I'm not. I should be comforted knowing what a huge adventure Bible College is going to be, and the life-long friends that await me there, but I'm not.
It's been a summer full of stretching lessons. My faith has been stretched and challenged in huge ways. Not by some huge event, but by a lot of little things that challenged me everyday.
I'm tired. I'm tired by life at this point. I don't wish to sound depressed, for I'm far from it, but I'm very comtemplative right now.

I rest in the knowledge right now that God is ever in control, and this is another step in making me who He wants me to be. So right now, I do feel the Lord just holding me. I'm definitely not strong enough at this time. The future is full of so many unknowns that just leave me realing in the wake.
I don't want to say good-bye, for this is comfortable. And I'll miss you. But good-byes do not have to be forever. It's amazing to me the many changes that friendships and relationships make seemingly everyday. I love change, but I hate it.

A song by Waterdeep seems so appropriate right now. Here's a link for your reading enjoyment, I hope you do take time to read the lyrics, for this song is my heart's cry right now.
http://waterdeep.com/music/songinfo.php?id=20
Unfortunately, even though it's Waterdeep's own website, a line or 2 is missing from the lyrics.
Right before the last chorus, there should be these lines:
"'Cause we're almost there, Oh, baby I'm almost there, Jesus, I'm almost there, but I'm still here"

Which is how I feel right now. I'm almost there, but I'm still here.
I'm almost to school, where I can learn a new life for the year, but I'm still here. I'm becoming who God wants me to be, but I'm my old selfish sinful person still shows up. 

I would love to leave you with the upbeat thought that I'll make it, that I'll treasure the 2 weeks I have left, make the most of every moment, treasure these friendships and make them last forever, and be utterly content. 
And I will. But I still feel as though someone is screaming into my head "You're leaving, things won't ever be the same. People will change, and you'll be gone out of their lives forever" 
I'm scared. I'm scared of life and the changes, of failing, of walking away from God, of hurting people, of love being painful, and of saying good-bye.

I will press on, but I'll also cling to Psalm 57.
"Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trust in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, Until these calamities have passed by."