Monday, August 16, 2004

Smiles and Puppy Dog Eyes Part 2-Take 2

Ahh, I love computers. Actually, they're a great blessing, but a huge annoyance as well. In other words, I was all set to publish my last post, and what should happen but it disappears. So I'll try again. One blessing for you the reader is that it will probably be shorter than before.

So about the smiles and puppy dog eyes. I was told on Saturday by one of the owners of the resort where I clean at that I had beautiful big puppy dog eyes. I was always told as a little kid that I had beautiful big brown eyes, but I guess I thought I had outgrown it.
As I was unpacking some boxes from Alec on Sunday afternoon, I found a box of old letters and cards some dating all the way back to 3rd grade. I was in such a "what is all this junk?" mood/mode that I threw away most of it. Don't worry, I didn't need it. First though, I read most of them. In so many cards from my summers in N.Y. and since then, I was told that my smile lights up a room. How encouraging is that?
I hope this doesn't come off sounding prideful, because what it does is humble me. I don't see these qualities in myself, I see what I need to improve on, but I find encouragement and humility in them.

I did have a great although busy weekend. I worked all weekend, but what's new about that? But I learned to find joy this weekend.
I got to lay out on our crunchy grass lawn after work Sunday afternoon. I laid there and just soaked up the feeling of the wind blowing through my hair, the kitty cuddled up and purring in my ear, and the sound of the windchimes blowing in the wind. God reminded me to enjoy the little blessings that He gives us everyday.
I ate a great ice-cream cone on Saturday, I got to go to an amazing church service of testimony and singing Sunday night, I sat and cried as I listened to my home congregation sing the last verse of "Amazing Grace" a cappella, and I enjoyed a great night of fellowship and some friendly sparring with my college group.
The little things that God gives us everyday, I was reminded to appreciate these.

Joy, what a great word. Not simply being happy, maybe not even smiling, but being totally satisfied in what God has done, and who He has made me to be.
"Thank you Lord, for the small joy-filled things that make up our lives in You."

Tonight was my second-to-last shift at B&B. It was a very good night, something I hope repeats itself tomorrow, for my last shift. I was basically clunked over the head with the fact that God will take care of His sparrows. I think today I finally was able to joke about and accept the fact that I had been stolen from. No, I wasn't therefore handed a check for $150 tonight. God isn't working that way so far. But I had the opportunity tonight to talk to a 7th Day Adventist family, not exactly of like faith, but still a fascinating conversation. The couple had been missionaries in Guam for 5 years.
Yes Nicole, I have officially met somebody who's been to Guam! How cool is that?!
So anyway, when they learned I was majoring in Missions, they left me $20. Not exactly a repay for what was stolen, but a huge clunk from God that He will take care of those He calls. Maybe not the way we think of being taken care of, but taken care of according to His Perfect Plan. God is so Faithful.

And that's all there is from these tired puppy dog eyes. Morning will be coming very early tomorrow, so I best get to bed. Thanks for all your prayers, I will make it. It has occured to me that saying I'm in the wilderness might be a bit presumptious of me, but that's where it seems I am right now. And right now, I'm not asking to be brought from it. I want to stay needy before the Lord. There are so many things going on in my head, heart, and soul right now. God is holding my chin in His hands as it were, in order that I might learn to gaze at Him.
It doesn't matter if this is the wilderness or not, what matters is that I stay humble, and trust my mind, heart, and soul to God.

So this puppy is off to bed. And please, comment! I need somebody to be a critic. In fact, I need lots of somebodies. Good-night my pound friends.

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