Alright, it's time to attempt to fill you in on my life as of late.
The great tale filled with adventure and tragedy might be somewhat of a let down, but I'll tell it anyway.
I was at a "fast-food" place with 2 of my close friends on what was a very rainy Tuesday, enjoying eating fries and stealing some of Tracy's ice-cream cone. The short version of the story is that I went to purchase my own ice-cream cone and wasn't paying attention when I put my wallet back and it missed my purse. So I left without my wallet, and got a nice little call that night that my wallet was safe and sound at this fast-food joint and I just had to come and pick it up. Which I did on Wednesday.
Now here's the good news, my I.D., my bank cards, my 2 credit cards, even my social security card, were all there still. Even a paycheck that I was going to put in the bank.
Now the bad news. As I said, I was going to make a deposit at the bank, so I had roughly $150 dollars of cash in my wallet. When I was given my wallet back, the cash was all gone.
Yes, I was ticked, I was worse than ticked. I was soooo upset all I wanted to do was cry and scream about the injustice of it all.
Honestly, all these self-righteous thoughts came to mind. Here I've been working 50-70 hours a week, 7 days a week, all summer, just to earn money to go to Bible College. I'm a Bible College student for crying out loud! I'm going to study to be a missionary. And they take my money! Even at my 6 hour a week job that I get $13 an hour, that's still 11 and a half hours of work. My hard work, just gone.
I know what you're thinking, at least you had your I.D., your paycheck, your credit cards, etc...
And you're right, but it still feels like I was for lack of a better word picture, monetarily raped.
I've been taken advantage of, I've been had, I've been stolen from.
I do realize there are so many more important elements to life right now, but this just stopped me in my tracks.
God is using it to teach me many things, one of them a reminder that it's not my money anyway. I saw how tightly I've been holding onto my precious pennies this summer. Yes, I've been tithing and giving and treating people to lunch, but I had forgotten that it's all God's to begin and end with. So that money is God's, and He's in control of it. I was reminded of the passage of scripture in Luke 21:1-4, where the widow gives her 2 mites in comparison to the "great gifts" of the rich men. God chose the widow's mites as being better. And they were.
I don't have a direct comparison to my situation with that, except that we live in a sinful world, these things are going to happen, and who am I do doubt God's hand at work?
I don't see a particular lesson in all of this, I'm not sure what God's doing. I still feel burned, and taken advantage of, but that's ok.
I don't need to know. If I never know until heaven , I hope that I can say well, I didn't react rightly to start with, but in the end I hope God was glorified.
I really don't have anything more of consequence to say. There's a whole lot more going through my head and going on in my life, but I cannot articulate it right now. I was reading a fairly well know preacher's blogsite, and he said it so well.
"I have nothing in me right now. Nothing to spare. Writing seems like some exotic and impossible thing, like hitchhiking through Siberia. I don't think I could form a single creative sentence. That's the reality of the situation."
Which just goes to show that I really can't write when I'm swiping how I feel from other blogsites.
Above it all though, I'm doing much better about being in the wilderness. I think I'm still there, for I still have a lot to learn right now, but that's ok. Not only is my focus getting back to where it needs to be, but I am learning to live life. I've been "scared" by too many possibilities in life lately. Instead of wondering about how to fix my life and personality so things don't happen to hurt me, I need to live life.
Love, laugh, cry, hug, give, share, talk, listen, and be Beth. And above all,
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her...'And it shall be in that day.' says the Lord, 'That you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer call Me 'My Master'." Hosea 2:14, 16
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