Frugality=Guilt?

This is my second type writing this post, as blogger didn't save as it was supposed to. So it won't be exactly the same, which may be better. :)

After my musings/rantings about how we are each responsible for our own selves a few days ago, I must make a confession. I read several couponing/thrifty/frugal/money saving websites. I get some good deals and some free stuff thanks to them. But overall, they discourage me. It's easy to ignore the deals/coupons for stores that we don't have in our area, but it's really hard to not stress about what I may be missing for the stores we do have.

Because I don't give myself grace. I want to be "Superwoman" Good at everything. Able to find a sale and entertain a child all at once. Money is tight beyond tight in our lives at this point, so if I know I could have gotten that $2 bottle of shampoo for free, I feel guilty.

But here's the thing. A lot of the items people get for cheap or free, I don't use. I make my laundry soap due to allergies and cloth diapers, I spoil my hair with more expensive shampoo, we use sensitive toothpaste thanks to some sensitive teeth, and we try not to buy a ton of processed foods. Now, the stuff I do use should I still look for coupons? Yes. If they're not available do I do without? Not always. Should we strive to maintain our food standards? Probably. Will I die with cheaper shampoo? Maybe not, but I may be more frustrated with my hair.

All this to say, I need to try to just do what I can. Time is money too. I don't always want to spend my time going from store to store and standing in line and waiting for the cashier to sort out my coupons with Levi in tow. And shoppping by myself? I'm then missing quality time with my boys. Because really, that's more important to me. I'd love to do it all, but I simply don't have the ability right now. If I wanted it enough could I find the ability? Maybe. Maybe Not. I'm not sure. What I do want is to be a good steward of what I have, and not stress about the small stuff. And sometimes, saving tons of money is a small thing. When instead of clipping coupons I could be playing at the beach with my son.

Overall, I do need to be more disciplined. And that's key too. I don't just want to manage our money better, I also want to be more disciplined in my entire life. I want to do my dishes more often, go on more bike rides with my husband, have a more consistent alone time reading my Bible and praying. There's many areas that need more discipline. And I'm not "Superwoman", and I'm learning to be okay with that. I'll learn and grow in God's perfect timing for me. And when I put expectations on myself that even He doesn't put on me, that can actually be sin and believing lies from the evil one.

So, do I try to take advantage of good deals? Yes. I'm actually still awake thanks to a good photo website deal. Loading 100 prints to be shipped to my doorstep for $1.07. Now that's a deal I can use. So less sleep to save a ton of money. It's worth it tonight. If it all fails and doesn't work out, will I lose more sleep and feel incredibly guilty? Nope. Because I did what I could.

Let me say this in closing though. God's strength is amazing, and through it I have done and handled things I never thought possible. So do I excuse myself by saying "I just don't have the strength right now." Well, at times. But I'm learning to pray first, and ask God for strength for what HE wants me to handle. That pretty much takes care of the guilt when I actually stop and listen. It sheds light on the false guilt in my life. And oh how freeing it is to walk in Christ's plans for my life.