God is not who I make Him out to be. So I think I'd rather ask:
How does who God is affect your life?
I'm not always very good at remembering that my life is pretty meaningless in the scope of eternity, or even in the scope of your life. God is eternal. I had a beginning. It's hard because if I admit that I am nothing, that means I need to submit to the ultimate authority of the entire existence of everything.
A song caught my ear this week. Some of the lyrics go like this:
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender
'Cause I'm losing all control...
With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His
Or are we caught in the middle?
Are we caught in the middle?
And that's the point isn't it? I don't want to have to fully surrender, because then I wouldn't be in control. Do I really want God to be who He is? Or do I prefer my nice made-up version better? Because what if I "let" God be God, and something "bad" happens? What then? What about MY dreams?
What I'm slowly and painfully coming to live in, is the truth that no matter what, God is in control. I can either fight that and be miserable, or I can embrace the truth that God's perfect plan for the world probably doesn't include an easy life for me. And that's ok. Because His glory is what I should be all about.
I can be so basic with examples, like I know I should get more sleep at night, because then my attitude would better reflect Christ during the day. Or complex: I need to submit fully to the big plan God has for my life, no matter how painful it is right now in this time.
But as those lyrics say, it's so hard to rectify saying that, and living it. I'm caught in the middle, so much more often than I wish. I'm a fence-rider, just hoping for beauty on the other side.
What about you? Is there an area of life where you know what you should do or how you should be acting, but find it hard to actually do so? Are you caught in the middle of something?
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