Note: Second blog of the day, I'm going for more! Well, I'm thinking about it...
So Levi's officially 6 months old today. And I've officially gotten my monthly "friend" for the first time in about 14 months...let me tell you how NOT COOL that is...I thought I had like 2 years or something. Well, not really, but I'm still depressed. So I spent yesterday on my couch eating about a quart of Chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream and watching the BBC's version of Sense and Sensibility. Thank you Valerie for loaning it to me. So basically I spent the day gaining calories and crying. But it was a beautiful thing. I forgot how much better chocolate tastes at that time of the month. I had told Andy to buy me chocolate ice cream. He came home with chocolate chip cookie dough (vanilla ice cream). Can I tell you how little chocolate there is in cookie dough?! So Andy went back to the grocery store... And I was happier...
I really like the BBC's Sense and Sensibility. It's just a more well-rounded version than the U.S. movie was. Marianne's not quite so childish, just emotional. And Elinor's not quite so uptight and perfect, just restrained and kind. And the little sister who I cannot spell her name right, (Margaret, I looked it up) she's still my favorite. I'd like to think myself like Marianne, but alas, I'm really a lot like Elinor. It may seem like I am outgoing, and really, I am, and it may seem like I bare my heart on my sleeve, but really, I don't. I have lots of opinions and dreams, but like Elinor, I'm afraid to hope for fear of being disappointed. I may seem Marianneish on the outside, but inside, I'm all Elinor. I love the line where Elinor and Marianne are discussing Edward and Elinor basically says she's afraid to wish and be disappointed, so Marianne says "Then I shall hope for you". And that's the kind of friend/sister a person like me needs. Someone to say you'll hope for me when I have no courage to hope. I guess I'm Elinor when she tells Marianne that she has felt everything Marianne has, but without the ability to share it. In my heart I dream of romanticism and passion, but in my life, I'm so like Elinor. Afraid to leap out no matter what others say. But, who does Marianne take lessons from? Elinor. She is sense, logical.
I don't really know where I'm going with this but to say that it was a great way to spend an afternoon. And perhaps to ask you to hope for me...for sometimes I'm way to sense and not enough sensibility (emotion). I'm the one saying we can't afford this, or we can't accept someone's generosity. When Marianne simply is thankful for the opportunities that arise, no matter who or where they come from.
So, if I was to hope and share emotion, I wish I had some funds. If I did, I would take Andrew and Levi to Chicago for the 4th of July. We would swim in Lake Michigan, walk the Magnificent Mile, eat some amazing Chicago style pizza from, well it's the best place ever and I can't remember it's name! We would go to the Field Museum, the Museum of Science and Industry, the Shedd Acquarium, the Plantarium, the Sears Tower. In all my years of my grandparents living around Chicago and all my missions trips, I've never been to the top of the Sear's Tower. We would eat at the Cheesecake Factory and then go to Navy Pier where we would ride the Ferris Wheel around and around and where I would buy a new sweatshirt from there since my favorite is currently sporting more holes than our screen door. We would ride the L all around town and find little diners and shops that I love. We would perhaps take in a baseball game for Andy's enjoyment. I would dream of living in a loft apartment above a coffee shop and art gallery with big windows, tall ceilings, and dusty corners. We would visit Moody Bible Institute where I dreamed of attending. We'd go find that little ice cream shop by college where I always stayed on Summer Missions Trips.
And it would be grand.
But just looking at that list I'd need several hundred dollars...so I'll dream of someday introducing my husband to the city that I love. And I'll dream of living there someday...but maybe after we raise our kids...
I love Chicago, did you know that? I do...
Maybe it's my Mom's Illinois roots and visiting it so much as a child that brings it out in me. But I love that city, and someday, I'll go back...
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