It's Only For A Season

Whoosh...That's the air leaving the house as everyone exits. It's been a bit of a crazy week. The in-laws were here last "weekend" into this week. We had an extra 2-year-old most of the week, which was super fun and crazy. And my parents were visiting this weekend, with another quick drop in from the in-laws today. It didn't seem so crazy when we planned it, but as I look at a week that may just be a tad more "normal" it feels like we've been just so busy.

Having an extra toddler a lot of this week has had me thinking. At times talking about twins seems overwhelming, like the 3/4/5am feedings that could happen. At other times, when they entertained themselves for 15 minutes blowing on the glass door, it makes sense.

The lesson? In every situation, hardship, life cycle, tantrum, teething, sleep-deprived moment, I need to remember this:

IT'S ONLY FOR A SEASON.

There's a cute new 3 1/2 week old bundle in this world. Her Momma is a dear friend to me. Baby weighs less than 7 pounds. Which means 2 more pounds than Levi at birth. Here's the thing. I don't remember. As I hold her little tiny frame, I can't remember exactly how it felt to hold a tiny boy smaller than that. It kind of makes me want to cry. Because all those days/weeks in the hospital, all the wires, all the tubes, the feedings, the sleepless nights, they seemed to be never-ending and all-consuming. And they were, for that season. But it's gone, and I don't know if they'll ever happen again.

I remember when I was pregnant with Levi, wondering who he was and what he'd be like. And today as his 23 pound skinny frame runs around my kitchen and then grabs my legs in a bear hug, I know my boy. It's so fun to get the hugs and kisses and hear "Daddy-a's truck" "Dex, Obie, Car, Noises, Eyes" etc...
But I do wish I could remember his teeny-tiny frame.

So, It's all for a season. When my current day is filled with tantrums and time-outs and spankings (Yes, even those) and toys everywhere and blankies and monkeys and dirt and finding rocks everywhere in my house, I need to remember, this is only a season. And all too soon, I'll miss this crazy toddler season just as I miss the baby season. And for the record, in that up all night baby season, I couldn't wait for this toddler crazy season. It's all about perspective.

So, for those of you who just wish for any child season, know that I'm praying for you. No matter what crazy season we have in Levi's life, I can't thank God enough for the miracle of Levi's life. But that doesn't make the seasons any less difficult. It just makes me thankful for the lessons in them. :)

So for those of you who are parents and will appreciate the humor in this, and for those of you who aren't but will laugh anyway, enjoy this: (But for those who want no complaining about being a parent, don't read.)

Oh Little Blog Life

In my rebellion against Facebook (Yes I still check it everyday, I'm just not updating my status much or saying much) I've decided I should blog more. It's a better venue for expressing my thoughts in bulk anyway.

Therefore, I'm trying to decide if I should do a few weekly "features" like many popular bloggers do. Now, I don't pretend to have a large readership, in fact if anyone besides my husband, Mom, and best friend read this I'm thankful. :)

But I do think it could be fun and helpful to have some "accountability" if you will with my posts. In fact it may inspire me to start some projects, like organizing, learning to sew, dusting. :)

I don't want to do anything I won't stick with however. I hate not finishing stuff and I'd rather not commit to something than do it a week or two and then just stop.


So, if anyone's reading this, what would you like to discuss or read about? Parenting? HA! Cleaning out my closets? Learning to sew (better)? Deleting Facebook "Friends"? Let me know!



This is corn from our garden 2 years ago...Good marriage analogy? One of you straight and orderly the other a bit crazy and haphazard? :)

You Are Who You Are

I have a friend who I happen to think is amazing. She's been through a lot in her life and is a fabulous Mom who just seems to do it all. Because she has to. It's her life.

A lot of us can be envious of others and all their accomplishments. For me, it's hard to not look at other Momma's who just seem to have it all together and have 12 kids and raise chickens and sheer their own sheep and make their own almond milk. Ok, that's a bit much. But sometimes it feels like that's what I'm up against. And you know what? I'm getting more and more ok with it. I'm learning to do what I do because I need to do it. We've been watching a friend's 2 year-old daughter this week while her daycare provider is on vacation. It's been super fun and a little bit like having twins. Levi's enjoyed the cohort in crime. :) We made a grocery run to Wal-Mart this morning out of desperation cries from the fridge. Or rather from me who didn't have cereal thanks to the lack of milk. Pretty much everyone there I think thought I had twins, big cart with the extra seats on back, lots of food, etc...As I was unloading the groceries into the car an older lady commented, that's a handful, good for you. I said thanks, not bothering to explain only one ruffian was permanently mine, and wondered this...If I'd had only my ruffian along and he was not trying to impale another with an acquired spoon from the diaper bag, would it still be good for me? Not to take away from her point, and I appreciated her encouragment, but in my heart I had to ask why it seems more fulfilling to manage more children or issues?

Will I only think I'm "Superwoman" if I manage a household of 5 kids, run an in home day care, make my clothes from scratch, etc? Or am I amazing because I'm alive and get out of bed in the middle of the night to put 1 child back to sleep? Am I fulfilled now as a Mommy and wife? (I need to switch to Mommy, Levi never caught on to calling me Momma...sigh...)Or will I only be when we have more kids? If Levi's our only child we get to raise to adulthood, will I still be worthy of the "Mommy Badge"?

Here's the thing, I myself have a judgemental spirit, and with the world of facebook (yes I'm still on that) and blogs, it's so much easier for us to spout out random opinions without regarding who we're judging without knowing them. You may be super passionate about cloth diapering and post for the world how they should all cloth diaper. What if you buy diapers with welfare/food stamps and they won't pay for cloth diapers? What if the only way you can diaper your child is with disposable? Why should I put the "guilt" or responsibility on you for something you can't control? Why should I make you feel like less of a Mom because you don't do what I do?

And that's the rub. You are who you are. I am who I am. I don't know everything about you just as you don't know everything about me. You don't know why I choose to cloth diaper only some of the time. You don't know that high-fructose corn syrup will kill us all. I don't know that nursing a 2-year-old is a healthy thing for you. We have our opinions, but the amazing thing is, I'm only accountable for me.

I only have to be "superwoman" for my son and my husband. And they happen to both like me right now. (Don't ask Levi in 13 years I'm sure.)

I'm learning to watch my mouth, and doing a horrible job in the meantime. But know this, my heart has known deep hurts and through that I've learned we all have our inner pains and demons. So I can simply say a prayer for something I see that causes me concern and keep trying to amaze my husband. That's my job. To be the best wife to the husband God has given me, and to be the most amazing Mommy to the boy I've been given. Period.

Now, to lighten the mood, a little Levi face for you...He thought the dog at Old Navy was real...

Facebook - Your words count.

I'm becoming more and more disillusioned with some aspects of facebook lately. I love that I can share pictures with friends, and keep in touch with those who live far away fairly easily. But in truth, I could share photos on my blog here. I can write emails to those far away, without everyone else reading about it.

I'm also questioning why we do what we do on Facebook. Do we post photos to share our lives with others? Or do I post them so you'll compliment me on how cute my son is? Do I update my status to be informative? Or to inspire envy and jealousy in you? To be prideful about how productive I was today? How amazing I am? Do I comment on others because I have something valueable to say, or because I want to be noticed and thought of as witty?

All in all, I'm not sure what to do. I've been hurt by people's quick replies and even seemingly "innocent" posts. I've had to struggle with my sin nature because of what their posts stir up in me. Yes, it's my sin, but should I be subjecting myself to the temptation?

I doubt I'll fully delete my account. I may someday, but not quite yet. I did go through and "unfriend" a LOT of people though. Most of whom I just don't talk to anymore. Some who cause me pain, some of whom I may cause pain to if I don't. :) If I deleted you, don't be offended. I may have just gotten delete happy too. You can "refriend" me if you think I made a mistake. Currently I'm down to 127 friends.

There's the other kicker. This word friend. Dictionary.com defines it as:
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

I'd have to say some of the people I'm "friends" with on Facebook do not fall into those categories. They are more like "acquaintences".

A friend is someone whom you have affection or regard, you like them! They will be there when you need them, and not be mean to you. They will not rub their good blessings in the face of your hardships. You can share your entire heart and life with a friend and not receive harshness, only grace.

I think maybe I need to work on being a better friend. In the meantime, Facebook is on probation...After I post pictures of the tremendous fun Levi & I had with some TRUE friends in real life, and facebook. The kind who will pose with the manequins with you.

Good Morning Tornado Sirens

Levi's cutting his 2-year-old molars. He's 19-months-old. I have problems with that, but whatever. He generally was a pretty good baby cutting teeth wise. Maybe a little fever (maybe), maybe a few nasty diapers, maybe some drooling, maybe some gumming, maybe some crying. His first molars were the worst. They seem like a walk in the park compared to these. Ugh. Fever started Saturday, 103 most of the day. Crabby/lethargic boy. By yesterday he was chewing on his fingers saying owie and being a HUGE crank. Not a good nap that day, and going to bed? BAH! I tried to put him to bed around 10:30...then a bat started flying around the house. A bit later Andrew had well, "displaced" the creature, and we tried again. Until 1am when the nonstop crying started. Around 2:30 Andrew took Levi to the living room and rocked him to sleep. By 4 he tried to put him back in bed, more crying, by 5am, Levi was in our bed thankfully resting a little bit.

7:15am. Weather Radio goes off again, it's been storming since midnight or so. This time, it's for a tornado warning. As my brain computes this the town's tornado sirens go off. Andrew grabs the dog, opens the door for the upstairs tenant to run to the basement, and I grab Levi and run downstairs. Thankfully we're fairly unharmed but south of us, well, it was really windy and lots of damage.

It continued to storm until noon or so. The dog has probably lost a few years of his life in shaking in fear. Levi thought it was fun to watch. Me? I tried to sleep some on the couch.

Levi is so far sleeping ok for his nap. I'm praying this nap goes well. As well as the one I'm about to go take. This weather and teeth are just nuts. I guess at least they came together? Not sure. Why do we need molars anyway?

I may sound testier than I am. I feel so bad for my boy and his pain. I wish I could ease it for him. We're trying, we really are little boy. I wish I could do it for you. If it's any consolation, I must have lived through it...