7 1/2 years, 300 posts

So my track record for posting at least once a week isn't great over a 7 1/2 year period, but if you subract the 2 years of almost relative silence, then it's a little better. :) The average hits 52 posts a year then, perfect. Almost. Anyway.

This post has been staring at me for about 4 days now. 300 just seems so significant. Like I should have something monumental to say. Like this is it. Like Someday I'll look back at post 300 and wonder why I didn't use it to say something more significant. But really, it's just a number. What if I hadn't paid attention to the post #? What if I had just posted about everyday life as I usually do?

I was reading back over some posts from the years, specifically the first year I started blogging. And I was cringing, and laughing, and nodding my head. I was so young, (I know, I still am), but really, I was so young. In mind, heart, and life. But when I read those words not only do I remember some of the mistakes and heartaches my young self made, I also read the words of a girl who wanted to trust and serve God with her whole heart no matter what. I can spend time thinking about how far I had to go, or I can look back and see how far I've come. I had so much to learn, I had so much to learn about God, who He was, and especially about His grace. And that's the thing I'm so thankful for in 7 1/2 years and 300 posts, God's Grace.

And my husband. :) There's a comment back in there, about some of my college days, by this guy named Andrew, and little did I know in 2 years I'd be married to the guy. I never could have dreamed. And I'm glad I didn't know. I've made a lot of mistakes in 7 1/2 years. But marrying that Andrew was never one of them. God's grace is so evident in our relationship, and I'm so thankful for His and Andrew's grace and patience with me over the years. Not just in winning my heart, but in living life with me.

We've come a long way since this blog started. Ironically the blog address "lifeandbeth" was suggested by a guy who I was friend's with, and almost broke my heart in many ways. But even in that God used him to show me Andrew, and what I could have there someday.

I heard this song on the radio this evening, as I was preparing supper for my husband of 5 1/2 years and my 2-year old son, with my pregant belly carrying our baby girl getting messy in the process. A life that's known sorrow and grief and the loss of babies. And this song just seems to fit.



Faith isn't something you have and then watch God move. Faith is something you have and do AS God moves and breaths in your life. This isn't foolproof doctrine. It's just a realization I'm making in my journey towards understanding faith. The biggest lesson? It's a lifetime process.

So I can only hope and pray for another 300 posts to this blog. Full of evidence of God's grace in my life. And that I let Him work. That's my prayer. To look back and see a life submitted to God and following hard after Him. No matter how many posts come and go.

A life of Faith. No matter what.

What Not to Write

So less than two months ago I resolved to blog more. And I did. And now? I've run out of words. I'm finding it hard to come up with anything interesting to say. And no, you don't want to read my uninteresting things. I promise. And the fact that almost all of the sentences in this post so far have started with And? Not good.

So I'm writing about not writing. Told you it wasn't interesting. I will say I had one deep thought today. While discussing a pending situation with a friend, I heard myself saying the following "I guess I find it hard to believe God would bestow that much goodness on us at once." And I did about choke after I said it. She totally understood my heart in the matter, but I thought it very telling of my lack of faith that I would even randomly think it. Which lead me to some joy believe it or not. Because I'm going to choose to believe that He would. Bestow that much goodness actually. I'm not going to get all gung-ho, but I'm going to pray believing amazing things may just be happening for us. That maybe, just maybe, our search for faith will be blown wide open and amazed. That doesn't even make sense grammatically, but you get it.

Also in this said conversation with friend? I learned just how much I love her all over again when she made a huge self-sacrificial offer. Wowed me. God DOES overwhelm me with goodness. It just comes in the form of other people sometimes. :)

I'll leave you with a Levi note for today. He's become obsessed, and I do mean totally, with cars and trucks and planes and trains and motorcycles and semis. Said the Canadian way...Semee. Not SemI. He sees a car out the window and you hear about it. He hears a loud motor and assumes it's a "cycle! Cycle!". See a "SEMEE!" Oh and the kid's hearing is crazy. We're inside, eating our breakfast, and he starts yelling out "plane! plane! plane!" because yes indeed, one is flying overhead somewhere and he hears it. A train whistle? Not ignored in this household. I'm kind of assuming this is a normal boy thing, but my goodness is he exact about it. I'm thinking he may have his daddy's DNA just a little and soon know every make and model of cars out there. And I guess I don't mind. He is a boy after all. :)

Figuring It Out

I know, I've been absent for a few days. I could lament you with tales of garage sale and trying to figure out a very used washing machine and ugh...But I won't. Instead I'll tell you that I have accomplished something I always wondered if I could. I figured out how to create and post to YouTube a song with photos and lyrics. No, none of the photos are mine, trying to keep it public friendly. It really didn't need to be done again except that I didn't like any of the current YouTube videos of this song.

Yes, you'll get to see it. No, not until tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, I'll have a very deep and heartfelt blog post for you. So buckle up and get ready. :) And with it I'll post the video. All this after worship with our church family. They get first dibs. :)

In other news, Levi took a nice face-plant onto the concrete last night. Got some road rash on his face and bit his lip so it's swollen rather nicely. He's also figured out that if he wakes in the night he needs to come to us, not just holler. Which was actually somewhat disconcerting at 2am when we were trying to figure out what that noise was. Turns out it was the toddler camping out on our bedroom floor. Andrew has started calling Levi our Nomadic child. Because whenever he gets out of bed he has to bring ALL his blankies and animals. Sheesh. It's a traveling zoo alright.

That's really all for now, I need to go relieve Andrew from the garage sale duty. Stay tuned tomorrow. :)

Oh Little Blog Life

In my rebellion against Facebook (Yes I still check it everyday, I'm just not updating my status much or saying much) I've decided I should blog more. It's a better venue for expressing my thoughts in bulk anyway.

Therefore, I'm trying to decide if I should do a few weekly "features" like many popular bloggers do. Now, I don't pretend to have a large readership, in fact if anyone besides my husband, Mom, and best friend read this I'm thankful. :)

But I do think it could be fun and helpful to have some "accountability" if you will with my posts. In fact it may inspire me to start some projects, like organizing, learning to sew, dusting. :)

I don't want to do anything I won't stick with however. I hate not finishing stuff and I'd rather not commit to something than do it a week or two and then just stop.


So, if anyone's reading this, what would you like to discuss or read about? Parenting? HA! Cleaning out my closets? Learning to sew (better)? Deleting Facebook "Friends"? Let me know!



This is corn from our garden 2 years ago...Good marriage analogy? One of you straight and orderly the other a bit crazy and haphazard? :)

Facebook - Your words count.

I'm becoming more and more disillusioned with some aspects of facebook lately. I love that I can share pictures with friends, and keep in touch with those who live far away fairly easily. But in truth, I could share photos on my blog here. I can write emails to those far away, without everyone else reading about it.

I'm also questioning why we do what we do on Facebook. Do we post photos to share our lives with others? Or do I post them so you'll compliment me on how cute my son is? Do I update my status to be informative? Or to inspire envy and jealousy in you? To be prideful about how productive I was today? How amazing I am? Do I comment on others because I have something valueable to say, or because I want to be noticed and thought of as witty?

All in all, I'm not sure what to do. I've been hurt by people's quick replies and even seemingly "innocent" posts. I've had to struggle with my sin nature because of what their posts stir up in me. Yes, it's my sin, but should I be subjecting myself to the temptation?

I doubt I'll fully delete my account. I may someday, but not quite yet. I did go through and "unfriend" a LOT of people though. Most of whom I just don't talk to anymore. Some who cause me pain, some of whom I may cause pain to if I don't. :) If I deleted you, don't be offended. I may have just gotten delete happy too. You can "refriend" me if you think I made a mistake. Currently I'm down to 127 friends.

There's the other kicker. This word friend. Dictionary.com defines it as:
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

I'd have to say some of the people I'm "friends" with on Facebook do not fall into those categories. They are more like "acquaintences".

A friend is someone whom you have affection or regard, you like them! They will be there when you need them, and not be mean to you. They will not rub their good blessings in the face of your hardships. You can share your entire heart and life with a friend and not receive harshness, only grace.

I think maybe I need to work on being a better friend. In the meantime, Facebook is on probation...After I post pictures of the tremendous fun Levi & I had with some TRUE friends in real life, and facebook. The kind who will pose with the manequins with you.

Why Bother?

I was asked the other evening why I don't try to make money with my blog. You know, increase my readership, get some advertisers, etc...

I had to think a while, even after I gave an answer, if I really didn't want to. I don't so much. I would love it if it happened, but I'm not so sure I want to put the work into it. Which made me evaluate why I even have a blog in the first place.

Way back when (2004, oh so long ago) I'm not even sure why I did, other than a boy (not my husband) told me I should 'cause I could write well.

Now? Why do I write?

I write to remember what my son is up to. I write to remember how he's growing and how I was feeling and reacting to all that was going on in his life. I write because someday I won't just be able to remember his smile and the funny things he does any time I want. I write to keep track of our lives. I write to reflect on things going on in the world. I write to share my struggles and joys. I write to share our burdens, and to ask for prayer. Mainly, I write to remember what God is teaching me, and to give Him all the glory. Because that should be the focus in everything I do, to give God glory and hopefully point you a little closer to Him.

I know that if I put in some effort and learned a whole bunch, I could probably make some money at this. Maybe I should, not really sure. Is that how God wants me to help provide our income? I don't have a strong yes, do this thought right now.

So why bother? In the hopes that somehow, someway, what God is teaching me will bless your heart and give you a desire to seek Him for who He truly is. And maybe, just maybe, to remind us all that this world is not our home and to hopefully stir up a thirst in you for something that this world can't satisfy. To seek Jesus with your whole heart.
Because, let me tell you, there is nothing else worthwhile. I may share recipes, stories, laughter, pictures, parenting techniques, etc. But nothing is more important than the truth that without Christ, life is without purpose and full of despair and eternity holds no hope.

Remember When?

You may have noticed that I've added a playlist to the bottom of my blog, mostly because when I'm writing I like inspiration. I'll even tell you why I chose a few of the songs...

~"When did you fall?" (in love with me) Amazingly romantic song by a Christian Artist. And the first song that Andrew and I danced to, and it happened to be our wedding night. So always good memories.
~"Praise you in the Storm" I thought we were in a storm when trying to get pregnant with Levi. That song gave me promise that no matter the outcome, God was in the storm. Now, two years later, I cling to that promise even more.
~"Yearn" and "Be Near" Shane & Shane's honesty seems to always echo the cry of my heart
~"Love them like Jesus" & "Prayer for a friend" What can I say? Again, heartcry. What do we and our friends need? Our prayers and love like Jesus. Not our pat sayings

~"Remember When" Ahhh got to have my bit of country. And really, except for the first verse, pretty much how I want to look at life. No sadness, only gladness for what we remember. How many people do you know that after the children grow up and move away that they no longer have a marriage or even a friendship with each other? Too many I'll wager. And so, that's my heart cry today. I know so soon the little feet running and crawling down the hall will be a distant memory. One I'll want back. I already miss the tenderness of my little 5 pound boy curled up on my chest. But I don't want to long for it. I want to remember when. I want to look at my gray-haired husband and think of the children we've released, and be so excited to have my best friend forever! Like my favorite verse says:
"Remember When, 30 seemed so old, now looking back, it's just a stepping stone,
to who we are, where we've been, said we'd do it all again, Remember When"
That's what I want in 40 years, to look back and see what God has done, where we've come from, and say, okay Lord. And to dance with my sweetheart forever.

And just for your enjoyment, a picture, because I can. :)Val, Will, & Kiernan vistited a few weekends ago, and we had such a great time! As this picture shows, Kiernan had to learn how to keep the dog from licking her face, and Levi just had to learn to walk as well as Kiernan! :) The Dad's went ice fishing, And Val and I? It was so good to be with a kindred spirit.