So now you've heard most of the details that I can remember of Levi's BIRTHday. The next few days get a little fuzzy, I'll be honest. Here's the thing, I had a c-section. I was on amazing pain killers and really didn't realize how much I needed them. I was so concerned about Levi being in the NICU and spending every moment I could with him, I really didn't take care of myself like I should have. I really think it's only by God's grace that I didn't develop any infections or hurt myself while I was pushing myself a little more than I should have. But enough about me. All that to say I didn't realize how much I was running on emotion and adrenaline and how much I needed the pain killers the nurses kept making me take. So Until Monday things are a bit fuzzy. So I'll give this my best shot. I took to writing down the essentials in a notebook. But it's very basic info.
On Saturday the 19th, Levi's first full day of life, both of our families were still here. At 5am I was wide awake and just wanting to see my baby so a nurse wheeled me down to the NICU. Andrew was exhausted so he stayed in bed. Now I understand why but at the time I didn't want to sleep, I just wanted to be near my baby. The nurse was just changing him and giving him a bit of formula/colostrum and Levi got put in clothes for the first time! Up to then he'd just been in his diaper in the "giraffe" incubator. The "giraffe" was an incubator that the lid can be raised up on a high neck. Hence the "giraffe" nickname. I got to hold my boy too! It was a precious sweet time.
I did try to go back to bed after that visit but I just couldn't sleep. I was too adrenalized and the morphine was still in effect. Around 11am Grandma and Grandpa Otto got to hold Levi for the first time before they had to leave. We also tried nursing for the first time. Interesting experience to say too little. I do remember that Andrew taught me how to change Levi's diaper. It was actually one of the few blessings of having him in the NICU was that Andrew learned more about him right away. That's helped us a lot.
Pastor Darryl and Pati also stopped by to visit. What a blessing!
In the evening our friends Jim and Teri came to see Levi as well. Andrew's family was in seeing and holding Levi at the time so I was out in the lounge visiting. (Only 4 visitors at a time, the NICU's small) While visiting my Uncle Romane and Aunt Judy surprised us by visiting. Their daughter lived near the hospital and they stopped by. Shocked me but what fun! By this point my morphine had wore off and someone wheeled me back to my room. I so wanted to stay and see Levi more but I was sooooo exhausted and in pain.
Sunday, Dec 20th is a little clearer in my head. Not much but a little. I again was awake at 5am and went to see Levi. He had his first poopy diaper which was really good! I got to change his diaper which at the time, was HUGE. Just to touch him was so wonderful. I guess that's one way to explain what exactly the NICU was like. It was not like a normal hospital delivery where baby is in your room 24/7. I got a few visits a day with my son. Changing his diaper was a blessing.
We tried some nursing again throughout the day. Levi was just way too small to get it.
Our friends Jay and Nicole stopped by as well. Jay was brave enough to hold our tiny boy.
Andrew's parents had to leave on Sunday as well, so it was just us that evening.
I do remember that they wanted me to try to nurse Levi again but it just made me cry. Because it wasn't working and I was exhausted. I just wanted to hold my boy. So I did, while he was gavauged. (fed through the feeding tube that was basically a permanent part of his face at this point. That's how Levi got almost all his nutrients the first 2 weeks of his life.)
I'll fill you in on Monday Dec 21, 2009 tomorrow. It's just too hard and emotional tonight.
I will tell you this. It was at the time THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. Only losing our second baby rivals it. So stay tuned. It does get better after that. I promise. Like this year, Way better.
No comments:
Post a Comment