Retelling: Chaos

When I was a kid I used to think that Chaos was pronounced phonetically. I couldn't figure out what it meant. Then years later someone read it and I understood. So really, Chaos did actually bring Chaos to my grammatical life.

Anyway, Chaos is the only word I could think of to describe Friday and Saturday a year ago. Because it was, absolute Chaos.
And it all started oh so early. I woke up around 12:30am Friday morning and knew there was a problem. I called our Dr. She said wait and see. I called her again at about 3am, which, I believe is actually when my water broke. We never quite realized it until the next night, because it sealed itself off well, but it did. And so back to the hospital we went. Where I spent the day again. With no hope of going home. I was there overnight at least. We had visitors, I think Andrew even went to work, because really, what could he do? We missed the Christmas Dinner Theatre at our church. Andrew went out and bought me a candy bar because I was sick of hospital food already. I had the mindset to at least ask that they pad my bed because I was in a delivery bed and they ARE NOT comfortable. Which came back to bite me on Saturday.
It was a long night. I sent Andrew home to sleep in our own bed. Because really, why should he suffer too? I slept on and off some but let me tell you, now I was getting afraid to move or anything. I was also annoyed. There's no other word for it. I had assurance that our boy was fine. Not just from the monitor that showed he was, but also from my heart, and the peace that only God can bring. So why was everyone else freaking out?

By Saturday morning we were figuring out that this wasn't going to go away. That I probably wouldn't be going home. Stuff started to get worse. My beloved Dr. was there and did several exams and ultrasounds and really couldn't figure out why my body was doing what it was doing. But it obviously wasn't getting better, only worse. They tried to test to see if my water had broken and didn't think it had, but really, I was just foolin' them. :)
So by the afternoon it became clear. I would probably be having this baby sooner rather than later and since I was only 32 weeks that day, it wouldn't be here. We were headed South an hour. God again moved mightily and allowed our Doctor to allow us to let Andrew drive me, not to have to take an ambulance. Only one problem in this little scenario...our car's ignition had froze the week before so we had borrowed a friend's little tiny car to go to my parents with. In all the comotion Andrew hadn't gotten it fixed yet. Umm...I am not riding over an hour in my very pregnant state in his little pickup truck. I love him, I'm thankful for his truck, but it's not happening. Again, God is amazing. Our beloved friends/pastor Darryl and Pati loaned us their incredibly comfortable Lincoln. It was their incredible deal, amazing car, and they loaned it to Andrew, for several weeks. She also brought me more chocolate, :) and they prayed over us. And we were off. I think it was around 3pm. I hadn't showered since Thursday night. Just had to throw that in, because I was sooo crabby about it. I know, bigger problems.

We got to the VERY LARGE hospital, finally found which door to go in, and I got wheeled through what I think may have been the longest route possible. They got me into a room, and Andrew finally found us. What came next were a million questions (they made Andrew leave the room because some of them were if I had been abused and that caused this. I have an amazing husband and I just wanted to cry for the women who have the courage to say yes when that's the case. God be praised, not me.)
what felt like a million pokes, and meeting the on call OB briefly as well as going to get an ultrasound. Not my idea of fun, it was an INTENSE ultrasound and that lady is definitely on my remember and do not like list. I think that may actually be when Andrew caught back up with me. They also had a neonatologist come in and meet with us so we got an idea of what to expect if we did deliver a preemie. Which was becoming a reality. They thought it might even be that night. And what should occur to both of us? "We don't even have a diaper bag!" Again, least of our worries, but you have to realize, we were a bit overwhelmed and didn't quite realize what having a preemie would mean at that point.

So it was a long evening as well. But the neonatologist really helped. To her, 32 weeks was amazing. She deals with 24 weekers. Our baby, HUGE rate of success. 34 weeks? Even better. I had had my steroids, baby's lungs should be okay if not great, so we just take it as it comes.

So we were left in limbo. They wanted to get me to 34 weeks but only the night and next day would tell if that were a possibility. I would have to deliver C-Section really no matter what because baby was still breech and they couldn't risk turning him because of the already complicated situation.
My parents decided to head down for a day or two no matter what, but if I would deliver that night, Pati promised to come so that I wouldn't be alone because Andrew would have to go with our boy to the NICU. It was chaos, absolute chaos. We had no idea what each hour would bring, let alone the coming days. But our hearts were not in total chaos. I knew deep down that our baby was okay and that God was sovereign. None of this was turning out the way I wanted or hoped, but we were where we needed to be, no more traveling, and we would just see.

All I wanted to do was take a shower.