I have had one of those startling moments that soon turn into minutes of contemplation. While reading on a website the thought struck me, "Which is better, to stick your neck out and be daring, or to be reserved and think things through until you can't think anymore?" I realize that at first this is kind of a random and somewhat disorganized question. I would like to expound on it to make it more sensible.
I should clarify by saying this was read in the context of relationships, but I think it applies in other areas as well. I have seen from personal experience and from watching others that so often we miss things and opportunities in life by sitting around and waiting. But then we often get into trouble or miss even better opportunities when we rush into things. I personally can go both ways. There are times (most times) that I sit back and simply overanalyze which leads to building walls and missing what is here and now. I've been challenged over the past, well maybe year or so, that sometimes we need to just enjoy what we have here and now. Forget worrying about it just enjoy it.
You can get into trouble by applying this to the wrong areas, and make some pretty bad decisions along the way as well. There are definitely Biblical principles to apply, and God is definitely all about patience. After all, we are to wait on the Lord. But we are also to seek the Lord while he may be found. And so where is the balance? I go back and forth. But today it struck me as I was reading about missed love and lost love that we miss so many things by trying to figure it out on our own. I have always tended to the side of waiting and seeing what God has and then moving forward only when it's safe. However, today as I sit and watch Freshman wasting time mooning over each other, and I also see others who have pursued God's timing and couldn't be happier, I wonder what the balance is? Will we ever truly know when to get off our rear ends and pursue life?
I have seen people whose lives have passed them by as they wait for that sign from Heaven. I've also seen people who never stop but keep rushing about trying to figure out what God wants for them. Yet they never stop to genuinely seek the Lord.
I like change. It's something that can be a burden and a blessing. I don't like to sit still for long. I get bored or dissatisfied very quickly. When I was younger and lived at home I was always rearranging my room. Then after a couple months I would get bored with it and do it again. My mom loved it 'cause this was usually the only time I cleaned my room unless threatened with severe punishment. As I got older I loved to go new places and try new things. I worked in upstate N.Y. for two summers and loved it. I traveled to Chicago on Missions trips several times. I also had a variety of jobs in high-school. It wasn't that I couldn't keep a job, but rather that I enjoyed keeping the main one and then adding different ones with the change of seasons. I had one job steady throughout high-school but it wasn't very many hours so I would work another place in the winter and then do something different again in the summer. As the time approached to choose a college I went back and forth and finally ended up in the least expected place. After the first semester I knew this program wasn't for me. That January God used a future missionary in a huge way in my life. I've referred to it before so I'll just summarize. Basically I was asked why I wasn't pursuing missions as my life and why didn't I just go to Bible College if I wanted to so much. I was left speechless and the rest is history. I moved home for the summer and now I'm here at Pillsbury.
When I was younger my mom often told me that I needed to be content no matter where I was. I often wondered throughout my life why this was so hard for me and why wasn't I getting it? Well, the day came that God revealed something huge through my mom. I was feeling disgruntled about not knowing where to go and my plans being changed and what not. I truly thought I couldn't be content. Then my mom gently told me that she was so encouraged to see me doing so many different things and loving so many different schools. She told me that it showed her that God could take me anywhere in life and the world and I would be content and love it there. What I had thought was discontent was actually flexibility and a love of going wherever. Oh, I still have to be careful to be content, but now I see God's hand in it. And for now, I plan on being here at Pillsbury until I graduate. I need to have some firm grounding for a while and let God work in my personal life.
How does this apply to the subject at hand you ask? Simply this, there are times in our lives when we need to wait. However it's important to be following and listening to the Lord during this time. Sometimes that means being very active and busy where you are. Sometimes it means getting away and seeking the Lord with all of your being. As far as relationships go, it's true that relationships shouldn't be rushed into, however I think we so often mistake apathy for patience.
There are also times when we need to go. God may not have made it clear how or where, He simply wants us to take that first step and He will lead the rest of the way.
This is the hardest thing for me to believe at times. Those of you who know me pretty well know how much I hate not knowing things. I'm getting better for sure, but I certainly like to be aware of what's going on. My friends enjoy stringing me along at times just to aggravate me. I like to know what's going to happen so I can plan for it and not be inconvenienced or have to simply go with the flow. I like to go with the flow, but with my paddle in hand helping. God is continually teaching me and giving me opportunities to have to trust Him to hold my paddle.
Fear is a powerful tool at motivating us into apathy. All of us as humans fear the unknown to some extent. Whether it be whether or not the roads will be bad on the trip, will a girl/guy reject me, or will God really never leave me? From the little things to the life-changing things we are experience fear. And yet God promises to never leave His children, and He is stronger than fear.
So to bring all that together I would like to say this:
God is more powerful than any circumstance or person in our lives. If we are truly seeking and finding our identity in Him, we will not be destroyed by rejection or fear. So seek the Lord while He may be found. Wait when He needs you to wait, but don't use that as an excuse for apathy and inaction. When God says move, MOVE! Not all situations are outlined in scripture or have a clear-cut God thing in them, but basic principles can be applied. I don't tend to ask God whether or not I should go to work on time; I just do it because it's a commandment to obey authorities. Sometimes we sit and ask when we should simply realize the principle that applies and get up and do it.
This is extremely long and I'm not sure it makes tons of sense, but I hope you get at least part of it. My prayer today is that we put aside our fears and obey the Lord.
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