Friday, August 28, 2009

Bakin' up a Baby

So my first title for this post was Cookin' up Baby, which sounds like I'm actually cooking a baby, while this one isn't much better, it's supposed to be a play on the words having "one in the oven". Anyway, I digress. People kept telling me from the moment I announced I was pregnant (which was like 2 seconds after I found out) that I had to take weekly/monthly belly pictures to show how the baby and I were growing. The problem with this being, and I never actually understood it until I was pregnant, because I always just thought pregnant women were so cute, but for the first 3 months, you really do just feel fat. It's not a hatred to the baby, it's not a bad self-image, you just lose all control over your stomache muscles, you don't feel the baby moving, the "hard baby stomache" hasn't taken over yet, you don't usually look pregnant (unless you're a size 0-2 to start with, in which case, don't even talk to me) so really, you just feel and possibly look fat. All this to say is that I either thought I just looked fat or I felt fat. I didn't want people looking at pictures of my "baby-belly" and go, really, she just looks like she's gained weight. Now that I feel the baby moving, can do nothing about my projecting belly, and it's getting harder to the touch, I'm all about my baby-belly picture. So the other night my husband finally took this one of me at about 17 1/2 weeks pregnant.


Afterwards, and I do mean AFTERWARDS, because I sure didn't make it a fun experience for him, I was feeling sort of chagrined. First of all, I realized how judgemental I must be of peoples pregnancy pictures, because I'm sure self-conscious of my own. Secondly, who the heck cares? Seriously, who cares what I look like?! We're so excited to have this baby, after a lot of prayer and tears and I rejoice daily over God's incredibly undeserved blessing of being pregnant, so why shouldn't I rejoice in my "fat/baby-belly"? And why let what anyone else may think rob me of the joy of showing of the baby in the oven? Thirdly, now that I realize this, I'm a little sad that I didn't take pictures before now. Because in reality, I'm only 2 weeks from being halfway through this pregnancy. I missed that opportunity because of my denying God's blessing.
So that's my chastisement to myself, and ever since then, I'm sincerely hoping some brave stranger out there asks me when I'm due. Because it's a dangerous question, but I'm open to it now. And I'll keep "Bakin' up our baby" and thankful that there's a reason I'm so tired, forgetful, and "chubby". :-)

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