February

It's February. I hate this month. I know that it's the shortest month of the year and all that jazz, but for me it usually drags on and on.

Somehow I think this year will be different.
1. I have a baby to keep me busy
2. I haven't been skiing all winter already and bored of it. I just went Cross-Country skiing for the first time this season on Saturday.
3. I'm not working full time so therefore, yeah not sure why that'll make the month go faster...

But I digress, it's February, which means January is over, which therefore means my due date has come and gone. January 30th was supposed to be the big anticipated day. Now I realize that most women do not actually give birth on their due dates but with Levi already being here that was my day to pinpoint when he "should have" been here.
Which I feel bad saying because really, God knew when he "should have" arrived, which was December 18th obviously.
Again, I digress. Instead of giving birth on Jan. 30 I went cross-country skiing with my husband and left Levi in Sarah's very capable hands. It was somewhat ironic...and painful...literally, my legs hurt a lot afterwards! I gotta work on getting back into shape!

I kind of expected to be really sad and tearful on my due date, and I did shed a few tears, but overall, I was just sort of okay. It didn't feel like the big deal I thought it would. I've kind of been giving myself a talking to about being sad about having Levi so early.

One of my best friends is due with her first baby in about 5 weeks, so she's officially in new territory that I haven't been in. It was fun when we were both pregnant to be a little ahead of her and fill her in on what to expect. Now she's the one who is telling me what it would have been like. At first this made me sad, and then I gave myself a little talking to.
There are soooo many things in life that I won't get to experience, why be upset about this little 6 week issue?! Seriously, I need to be sooo thankful that I had the privilege of being pregnant with and having Levi even if it wasn't a "typical" pregnancy/birth.
I am so blessed to have an amazing husband who loves me, a beautiful healthy baby, and salvation from our Great God, so I have nothing to complain about.

So that's it, no more sorrow, no more living in grief, I'm going to appreciate every moment I have with the bugaboo, and be thankful for the extra weeks I was given with him. They are a blessing, not a curse.
There will still be days where I'll be sad, or chagrined, like yesterday when someone said their baby slept 11 hours at night at 6 weeks and I have to remember Levi's adjusted age is 0 not 6 weeks, so I'll give him time. And laugh at how me who loves to sleep is now not getting any.
And I'll thank God for all my blessings.