Thursday, July 01, 2010

In Hot Water

I want to tell you something.
I Loooovvvee being a stay-at-home Wife/Momma. There is truly nothing sweeter in my life. I've wrestled with missing my work and the people and feeling lonely. Even this week I've thought "I'm going to go crazy if I don't make some serious bonds with other young Momma's". But even then, I love my "job". Our society wants to tell women that you can do it all. You can work full-time, keep your home beautiful, have exactly the right amount of time for your kids, work out and keep your body stunning, be the perfect wife, etc... And for some of you, maybe you can. I can't. Even being home all day I sometimes feel as though I've accomplished nothing. But really, in most days, no matter what I "do" I learn something. I learn something about how to treat my husband (or to not treat, depends on the day), what Levi is doing and discovering, and how to please my Savior and glorify Christ. Even when the day's been a wreck, I learn to depend on Christ even more. So no, I CAN'T do it all. I really don't believe any woman could except through God's grace. And frankly, I would rather be home sorting through my junk, blowing bubbles at my son, raising my garden, attempting to bake bread, balance our budget, pay our bills down, trusting the Lord for our income, contemplating making my own candles, perfecting a BBQ sauce recipe, and having dinner ready for my hard-working man. Now, if I accomplish any of those things, it'll be a miracle. :) Some days you just have to rock the baby to sleep and sleep with him. Some days you get tons of stuff accomplished. That's the beauty of being at home with my family.

All that to say this: I'm still learning. My Mom was fantastic. She taught me all about doing laundry the right way. Well, I don't think I listened very well. One of my thrifty ways is washing our clothes in cold and sometimes MAYBE warm water. Never hot...
So when our FuzziBunz called for washing in hot water, I didn't think about it, on went the hot water, in the detergent, and in the diapers. The Blue, Green, Brown, Yellow, ORANGE, RED diapers. Yep, I'm a thinker. So now all the inserts for Levi's diapers are a great shade of pink. Whoops...
I about died because really, I feel that I'm always doing something thoughtless like this. Like leaving the deep freezer door ajar as we left for the weekend. Only to come home to a wall of ice. Which we spent 4 hours defrosting (picture heater/hair dryer/hammer and lots of towels!) late at night.
So Andy's frustration with my pink diapers was understandable. But today, it's funny. It's a story to tell and a memory of my early marriage/motherhood. Yep, our kids will now all be diapered with pink inserts. And you know what? It's okay. It's funny and it's a joy of being here to make those mistakes.
It's not easy to be a stay-at-home wife/Momma. People judge you, you feel inadequate, you're broke and don't know how to make it work. But it's worth it. I wouldn't trade it for all the careers in the world. I love my family and my God. I want to please them all. And so I stay-at-home. And my heart is full.

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