A Grown-Up Sort of Love

As previously mentioned, my husband got me roses for my birthday. I shall not aggravate both of us by telling you how long it had been since I got flowers. But it was a looongg time.

Levi has brought a new dimension to our marriage, and I think we both knew it would, but with all the chaos of his arrival we didn't get to prepare emotionally as much as we would have liked. So, it's been an interesting time.

Neither one of us is a great communicator at times, and being so busy and focused on him has only added to this. But amidst the arguments and times of silence and tears, I've come to realize this.

We love each other, a Whole LOT. But we've gotten lazy about it. We're committed, no one's leaving, no one's cheating. But frankly, we've gotten lazy and boring about each other. Not just him, but me too. As much as I nag him about complimenting my "post-baby" appearance and leaving me notes, I don't make his lunch or call him just to say I love you anymore. I'd like to lay all the blame at his feet for not pursueing me, but I haven't been worthy of the pursuit lately either.

So we're trying. We're being more intentional about our love and working at it. We've always known love and marriage are choices and take work, but I think we're just now understanding what that means. My Mom set an amazing example of always teaching us kids that we came second to our Dad. God was first, then Dad, then us. We never got precedence over Dad (in normal everyday circumstance, not emergencies or whatnot). I understand that even better now. Kids grow up and leave, our marriage is forever. We choose it to be. We work at it and will never give up. Even when it's tough and we get tired and lazy about it, Andrew's still the one I want forever. Levi will be gone in the blink of an eye but Andrew will still, Lord willing, be here. So my commitment is to him first.

So, I'm going to roll up my sleeves, try to zip my lips, and work hard at this grown-up love we have discovered. And it's worth it. There's no one else I'd rather fight and love with. He's the grow-old with sort that will love me when I give up dyeing my gray hair. And it'll be a grand forever after with him. Life is never dull and I can't wait to see what our future holds.