Many of us are familiar with this verse from Psalm 37:
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
But there's so much more to this chapter than just that verse. I'm going to do something no Bible student should ever do and pick and choose a few verses to share.
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,
And He delights in his way.
24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the LORD upholds him with His hand.
Rest in the Lord, how often I've been guilty of not doing that. And tonight, as I think about the fact that it's exactly 7 months until Andy and I are married, I thank the Lord that I have not always been given what I want.
I took a nap this afternoon to try to catch up a little bit, and I remember waking up briefly from some sort of dream and feeling my finger to make sure my ring was still there. I don't know what I was dreaming about, but I remember feeling like I was losing something or someone. And I was thankful for the man who loves me above all others. What a trying adventure the past year or two has been. But now, I can see God working and having worked.
If the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, then I'm thankful that I'm not based on my goodness on my own merit, but on Christ. And as I look back over the steps of the past year, I'm thankful that God knew, God knew what I needed. God knew that I didn't need someone that I wanted, that they would only lead me further and further away from Him. God knew that I needed to go to Bible College, and to study hard. God even knew that I needed to be lonely, to seek wise counsel, to trust only on Him and put my dependence on Him. God even knew that I needed to hurt and wonder what in the world He was doing in my life. And God knew I needed Andy. God knew how it would all work out, even when I didn't and didn't think he could be right for me. God saw our hearts, and He alone knit them together. So to those of you who are waiting as I have and will forever, yes, trust in the Lord, delight in the Lord, but do the rest too. Commit your way to Him, and rest patiently. That's probably the hardest part, to Commit and then rest patiently.
I still haven't got it right, but I know this, God knew the desires of my heart far better than I did and still do. God knows what an amazing man Andy is, and he knows how we need each other. God knew I needed him when I didn't. And God saw it all. He sees us today, and He sees 7 months down the road when we'll vow before others and Him to be faithful forever. He sees it all, and He knows it all. So Commit dear friend, and Rest Patiently. God has our steps in order, and He sees them all.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
I Wanna Be Beautiful
Ecclesiastes 3
1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
8 A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.
9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors?
10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied.
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.
12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives,
13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.
14 I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
15 That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God requires an account of what is past.
"Beautiful" By Bethany Dillon is one of those songs that will tug at the heart of every teenage girl. While I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm still a girl, and I'm a human being. I think that somewhere inside of everyone is the desire to be "Beautiful".
"He has made everything beautiful in it's time." Some days I feel like I'm still very much unbeautiful. I feel as though I'm the negative parts of "A time to..." But yet, everything does have it's time, a time to laugh, but a time to weep as well. We shouldn't hate the weeping so much, for after the weeping comes laughter. God will make everything beautiful in it's time. Maybe that time won't be until Heaven, but that's okay, for He has put eternity into our hearts. I'm not sure I understand what all that means, but one of my Doctrine words for tomorrow's quiz is Hope and part of the definition goes like this:
"Biblical hope is more than a simple wish; it entails certainty based on God's demonstration of faithfulness to people in the history of salvation as recorded in the Scriptures and as experienced by the church."
I like this definition, especially the certainty and faithfulness part. No one does know the work that God does from the beginning to the end, but we do know that He's faithful. What He does will last forever.
So tonight I pray that my heart will become beautiful. Sometimes I see my heart and it's so wretched and ugly and full of sin, that I wonder how God could use me. But I know that I'm not finished yet, there is a season for everything. So maybe this isn't my season to be overwhelmed with incredible laughter, but I think this is my season to draw even closer to my Heavenly Father and know that He loves me. And maybe, we need to talk about that sin-scarred heart. He might still be able to do something with the pieces. Maybe something beautiful...
1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
8 A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.
9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors?
10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied.
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.
12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives,
13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.
14 I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
15 That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God requires an account of what is past.
"Beautiful" By Bethany Dillon is one of those songs that will tug at the heart of every teenage girl. While I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm still a girl, and I'm a human being. I think that somewhere inside of everyone is the desire to be "Beautiful".
"He has made everything beautiful in it's time." Some days I feel like I'm still very much unbeautiful. I feel as though I'm the negative parts of "A time to..." But yet, everything does have it's time, a time to laugh, but a time to weep as well. We shouldn't hate the weeping so much, for after the weeping comes laughter. God will make everything beautiful in it's time. Maybe that time won't be until Heaven, but that's okay, for He has put eternity into our hearts. I'm not sure I understand what all that means, but one of my Doctrine words for tomorrow's quiz is Hope and part of the definition goes like this:
"Biblical hope is more than a simple wish; it entails certainty based on God's demonstration of faithfulness to people in the history of salvation as recorded in the Scriptures and as experienced by the church."
I like this definition, especially the certainty and faithfulness part. No one does know the work that God does from the beginning to the end, but we do know that He's faithful. What He does will last forever.
So tonight I pray that my heart will become beautiful. Sometimes I see my heart and it's so wretched and ugly and full of sin, that I wonder how God could use me. But I know that I'm not finished yet, there is a season for everything. So maybe this isn't my season to be overwhelmed with incredible laughter, but I think this is my season to draw even closer to my Heavenly Father and know that He loves me. And maybe, we need to talk about that sin-scarred heart. He might still be able to do something with the pieces. Maybe something beautiful...
"Beauty Is"
Beauty Is
by Richard Dottery
Beauty is more, than what you see
Than what, your eyes behold
It’s all that is, a part of you
Has been, since times of old,
It’s your character, and your soul
And the love, that flows through you
It’s that caring, tenderheartedness
And your, physical beauty too,
It’s not, measured by a scale
Or by the color, of your eyes or hair
It’s so much, a part of you
That it always, remains right there,
It’s the light that shines, out from inside of you
Making others, feel at ease
And a pleasant, sense of humor
Like a cool, refreshing breeze,
Yes, beauty, can’t be bought
Can’t come from a bottle, or an operation
It can only flow, from a loving soul
With Jesus Christ, as the inspiration.
Richard Dottery
Copyright ©2002 Richard Dottery
by Richard Dottery
Beauty is more, than what you see
Than what, your eyes behold
It’s all that is, a part of you
Has been, since times of old,
It’s your character, and your soul
And the love, that flows through you
It’s that caring, tenderheartedness
And your, physical beauty too,
It’s not, measured by a scale
Or by the color, of your eyes or hair
It’s so much, a part of you
That it always, remains right there,
It’s the light that shines, out from inside of you
Making others, feel at ease
And a pleasant, sense of humor
Like a cool, refreshing breeze,
Yes, beauty, can’t be bought
Can’t come from a bottle, or an operation
It can only flow, from a loving soul
With Jesus Christ, as the inspiration.
Richard Dottery
Copyright ©2002 Richard Dottery
Saturday, October 01, 2005
An Obsessive Compulsive's Idea Of Fun
All I have to say is that this is definately something that would keep me busy for hours.
http://fun.drno.de/flash/ButtonRedBig.swf
http://fun.drno.de/flash/ButtonRedBig.swf
My Love Is My Beloved
My Love Is My Beloved
My love is my beloved, even though
he was not my beloved when we met.
The mercy of the Lord before had set
our feet on straightened paths we did not know
would lead us to each other. Any woe
we felt alone we never needed let
become a bitter root. Why did we fret
when both our lives our Father did foreknow?
We may have fretted, but we now delight
each other, as the Lord has given us
such love and favor in each other's sight
that any covetousness, any lust
is soon forgotten when we walk upright
along the path the Lord has bidden us.
~ by Michael Rew
My love is my beloved, even though
he was not my beloved when we met.
The mercy of the Lord before had set
our feet on straightened paths we did not know
would lead us to each other. Any woe
we felt alone we never needed let
become a bitter root. Why did we fret
when both our lives our Father did foreknow?
We may have fretted, but we now delight
each other, as the Lord has given us
such love and favor in each other's sight
that any covetousness, any lust
is soon forgotten when we walk upright
along the path the Lord has bidden us.
~ by Michael Rew
Friday, September 09, 2005
Wanted: My MRS. degree
I feel the need this evening to say that whoever said "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" certainly was being rather gentle. It's been two weeks or so since I've seen Andy and that's just too long. But school is going better and I'll hopefully have a pretty good weekend of catching up on stuff. I certainly have a junior case of "senioritis" and am more than ready to graduate in the spring with my AAS. And then comes the MRS. :-)
It's been a challenge of great magnitude lately to stay here at school and focus on what I'm learning. My desire to be with Andy reminds me that God certainly knew what He was doing when He designed man and woman to be together. Patience is certainly not easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
Andy is coming down in less than two weeks and it can't come soon enough. But for now, I plug away at my homework and hope this week I can get a little bit more sleep. The wedding is aproximately 9 months away and graduation only 8. It's amazing how fast time really does go by yet it feels like it goes so slowly. It is true that God's timing is perfect though, so another step in my journey of trust is needed. Although at times I feel as though it's one step forward, two steps back. Praise the Lord for His patience and compassion on me. And for an amazing man that can't wait to marry me.
It's been a challenge of great magnitude lately to stay here at school and focus on what I'm learning. My desire to be with Andy reminds me that God certainly knew what He was doing when He designed man and woman to be together. Patience is certainly not easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
Andy is coming down in less than two weeks and it can't come soon enough. But for now, I plug away at my homework and hope this week I can get a little bit more sleep. The wedding is aproximately 9 months away and graduation only 8. It's amazing how fast time really does go by yet it feels like it goes so slowly. It is true that God's timing is perfect though, so another step in my journey of trust is needed. Although at times I feel as though it's one step forward, two steps back. Praise the Lord for His patience and compassion on me. And for an amazing man that can't wait to marry me.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
He Asked, She Said YES!
It was at twilight, you know that time when the stars are out but the sun is still hanging on making the sky somewhat pink?
Well, it was at twilight on the beach at City Park when Andrew knelt down on one knee and asked me to marry him. And I said yes, with my whole heart.
And so I'm getting married! The month of June is the blessed month, and I'm feeling so blessed right now. God's plan truly is more amazing than I could ever have guessed, and I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life next to this amazing Godly man.
"When you know in your heart that you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, Forever can't start soon enough." From Boy Meets Girl
And so it's with a joy and hope in my heart and the promise of forever that I write this. Wait on the Lord dear friends, for I can say His timing truly is perfect.
Well, it was at twilight on the beach at City Park when Andrew knelt down on one knee and asked me to marry him. And I said yes, with my whole heart.
And so I'm getting married! The month of June is the blessed month, and I'm feeling so blessed right now. God's plan truly is more amazing than I could ever have guessed, and I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life next to this amazing Godly man.
"When you know in your heart that you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, Forever can't start soon enough." From Boy Meets Girl
And so it's with a joy and hope in my heart and the promise of forever that I write this. Wait on the Lord dear friends, for I can say His timing truly is perfect.
Monday, August 08, 2005
A New Journey
Suddenly it's August and my life has again changed in ways I could never have imagined. It's amazing how much has changed since the end of May when I last posted. I didn't mean for it to be so long since I posted again, but then life happens. It seems that last summer I blogged almost everyday. Well, this summer has provided a much better "distraction".
As I drove home the other night from work I was struck as I often am of the beauty of the sunset. The time I'm driving home is somewhat optimal for seeing a beautiful sunset, although it is getting darker sooner these days. As I appreciated the gorgous colors in the sky, I thought about love. It seems to me that love is comparable to a sunset. First of all it's utterly beautiful, but it's also so hard to describe. Even now as I write about this beautiful sunset each of you is probably thinking of a particular sunset that you've seen in the past or even making up one in your mind. If I try to describe the beauty and creativity in this sunset, you will each be guided by your own perception and experience of sunsets. It seems that this is possible to say the same thing about love. I could try my hardest to describe love, talk about the different kinds of love, or even tell you how wonderful love is, but you will each be biased by your own opinion of what love is. With that qualification aside, let me now say the following.
Love is an incredible mystery, and I'm in love. His name is Andrew and he's given me permission to write about him. I could spend pages and pages writing about him, but I'll simply say this (well maybe) He's wonderful and amazing and he loves me. I can't even begin to describe this amazing thing of being in love, but I can only say it's wonderful. Andy challenges me in so many ways and loves the Lord so much. Not a day goes by that I'm not so thankful for him. And so I have this to say about love, particularily about loving Andy, It really is a gift from God. Andy is a gift from God and I'm so thankful to be loved by them both.
Kind of a mushy almost end to the summer I know. And that's a true statement, for me, this summer is almost over. I am due to return to school on the 21st. Where has this summer gone? I know, it's gone to love. But as I start thinking about the great amounts of planning I have, I contemplate returning to school for what now seems will be my last year. It's exciting, not a sad thing at all. For once, as I face another change, I'm thankful for time. I don't regret this summer, and I don't think time has gone too fast. Yes, I still wonder where it's gone, but now I'm thankful for the time I've had, and I look forward to even more adventures. This Journey of Trust is full of unexpected things, but it has been an incredible journey.
And so I pray that you trust God for your own journey. Let's learn to trust and wait together shall we? After all, fairy tales can start anyday, and not always as we expect. But God's plans are better than any fairytale.
As I drove home the other night from work I was struck as I often am of the beauty of the sunset. The time I'm driving home is somewhat optimal for seeing a beautiful sunset, although it is getting darker sooner these days. As I appreciated the gorgous colors in the sky, I thought about love. It seems to me that love is comparable to a sunset. First of all it's utterly beautiful, but it's also so hard to describe. Even now as I write about this beautiful sunset each of you is probably thinking of a particular sunset that you've seen in the past or even making up one in your mind. If I try to describe the beauty and creativity in this sunset, you will each be guided by your own perception and experience of sunsets. It seems that this is possible to say the same thing about love. I could try my hardest to describe love, talk about the different kinds of love, or even tell you how wonderful love is, but you will each be biased by your own opinion of what love is. With that qualification aside, let me now say the following.
Love is an incredible mystery, and I'm in love. His name is Andrew and he's given me permission to write about him. I could spend pages and pages writing about him, but I'll simply say this (well maybe) He's wonderful and amazing and he loves me. I can't even begin to describe this amazing thing of being in love, but I can only say it's wonderful. Andy challenges me in so many ways and loves the Lord so much. Not a day goes by that I'm not so thankful for him. And so I have this to say about love, particularily about loving Andy, It really is a gift from God. Andy is a gift from God and I'm so thankful to be loved by them both.
Kind of a mushy almost end to the summer I know. And that's a true statement, for me, this summer is almost over. I am due to return to school on the 21st. Where has this summer gone? I know, it's gone to love. But as I start thinking about the great amounts of planning I have, I contemplate returning to school for what now seems will be my last year. It's exciting, not a sad thing at all. For once, as I face another change, I'm thankful for time. I don't regret this summer, and I don't think time has gone too fast. Yes, I still wonder where it's gone, but now I'm thankful for the time I've had, and I look forward to even more adventures. This Journey of Trust is full of unexpected things, but it has been an incredible journey.
And so I pray that you trust God for your own journey. Let's learn to trust and wait together shall we? After all, fairy tales can start anyday, and not always as we expect. But God's plans are better than any fairytale.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Where Will May Find Us?
The month of May is nearing an end and I've felt very reflective the past week. Perhaps it's being back home for the summer again after 9 months away at school. And yes, the play went wonderfully and finals and post-term were good too. My GPA for the semester landed me on the Dean's list again, which is very nice indeed. I continue to strive for the President's list but content with slightly less than perfection. Greek classes start next fall so I may be content with a slightly lower GPA from here on out.
As it is after midnight it is officially the last day of May 2005. It's also my brother's birthday, Happy Birthday Bro! As the month of May comes to a close, I've been pausing to reflect on where I was last May, and the changes in my life since then. Last May I had again moved back home for the summer, and oh what a summer it was. While there are some similarities in the job and living situations, this is a much different summer. Because you see, I tasted something good this last year.
Psalm 34
1 I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. 2My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. 3Oh, magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together. 4I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. 5They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed. 6This poor man cried out, and the LORD heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles. 7The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them.
8Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
9Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. 10The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing. 11Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 12Who is the man who desires life, And loves many days, that he may see good?13Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit. 14Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it. 15The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry.
There is so much to say about this wonderful Psalm, but as I desire to sleep tonight, I will only say this, I sought the Lord, He heard me and delivered me. I truly have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. I learned a lot of lessons the hard way last summer and this past year, but God used everything for His glory. To see what God has brought me from and to is a true testimony to His amazing grace.
Psalm 40:2
1 I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. 2He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. 3He has put a new song in my mouth-- Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the LORD.
God has brought me out of the miry clay and set my feet upon the rock, and I've never been so thankful for that. I know my God in a way I never knew possible a year ago. And I still have so much to learn. This truly has been a journey of trust that I've been on, and will continue to be on for the rest of my life. I have come face to face with God in a huge way and I know that He has an amazing adventure for me. And this day-to-day life of the summer is part of that adventure. God's mercies really are new every morning, and if I'm walking with Him, no part of life is wasted. Even the hard parts and the stupid mistakes can be used of God.
And so another May has come and gone. I'm so thankful for the mundane and the grace of the past year's "adventures". For without the mundane and the mistakes, God's grace wouldn't be so necessary. So as I pause to reflect, I find myself thanking God for His grace in the past year, and praying for His wisdom in the future. And I wonder, where will next May find me? Where will it find you?
May all the Mays to come find us walking closer with the Lord.
As it is after midnight it is officially the last day of May 2005. It's also my brother's birthday, Happy Birthday Bro! As the month of May comes to a close, I've been pausing to reflect on where I was last May, and the changes in my life since then. Last May I had again moved back home for the summer, and oh what a summer it was. While there are some similarities in the job and living situations, this is a much different summer. Because you see, I tasted something good this last year.
Psalm 34
1 I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. 2My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear of it and be glad. 3Oh, magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together. 4I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. 5They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed. 6This poor man cried out, and the LORD heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles. 7The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them.
8Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
9Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. 10The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing. 11Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 12Who is the man who desires life, And loves many days, that he may see good?13Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit. 14Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it. 15The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry.
There is so much to say about this wonderful Psalm, but as I desire to sleep tonight, I will only say this, I sought the Lord, He heard me and delivered me. I truly have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. I learned a lot of lessons the hard way last summer and this past year, but God used everything for His glory. To see what God has brought me from and to is a true testimony to His amazing grace.
Psalm 40:2
1 I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. 2He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. 3He has put a new song in my mouth-- Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the LORD.
God has brought me out of the miry clay and set my feet upon the rock, and I've never been so thankful for that. I know my God in a way I never knew possible a year ago. And I still have so much to learn. This truly has been a journey of trust that I've been on, and will continue to be on for the rest of my life. I have come face to face with God in a huge way and I know that He has an amazing adventure for me. And this day-to-day life of the summer is part of that adventure. God's mercies really are new every morning, and if I'm walking with Him, no part of life is wasted. Even the hard parts and the stupid mistakes can be used of God.
And so another May has come and gone. I'm so thankful for the mundane and the grace of the past year's "adventures". For without the mundane and the mistakes, God's grace wouldn't be so necessary. So as I pause to reflect, I find myself thanking God for His grace in the past year, and praying for His wisdom in the future. And I wonder, where will next May find me? Where will it find you?
May all the Mays to come find us walking closer with the Lord.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Rehearsal, Finals, and the Lord's Goodness
Dress rehearsal for the spring play is tonight. I'm definitely slightly nervous. My accent has me worried that it won't pull through. I just keep reminding myself to be trusting the Lord.
This is short and sweet because I have a busy day but I wanted to update a little bit.
2 more weeks left until finals. It's hard to believe summer is almost here. Granted I'll be taking post-term classes, but still, it's so soon.
I'm not sure where I'll be this summer, but the Lord will guide.
I've been so reminded of the Lord's faithfullness and goodness the last week. I had a wonderful weekend in Alexandria and came back to school so exicited and just thanking the Lord for being so good. Now, to keep my focus on Him and wait patiently is the task at hand.
But I better be off, have a great week and remember the Lord's timing is perfect.
This is short and sweet because I have a busy day but I wanted to update a little bit.
2 more weeks left until finals. It's hard to believe summer is almost here. Granted I'll be taking post-term classes, but still, it's so soon.
I'm not sure where I'll be this summer, but the Lord will guide.
I've been so reminded of the Lord's faithfullness and goodness the last week. I had a wonderful weekend in Alexandria and came back to school so exicited and just thanking the Lord for being so good. Now, to keep my focus on Him and wait patiently is the task at hand.
But I better be off, have a great week and remember the Lord's timing is perfect.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
¿Porque No?
Well, full runs of the spring play are in progress here at school. We started them last evening and it was interesting to say the least. Considering I'm only in 2 scenes it shouldn't be such a big deal, but the one scene is towards the beginning of the play, and the other one is the very last scene. So I'm there for the whole thing. Ah well. The only other glitch on my part right now is the fact that I'm a Hispanic girl, so I'm supposed to have an accent. This would be fine, if it weren’t for the fact that I have never ever been able to roll my rrrrrs. The Spanish teacher here at school has been helping me, and we're making some progress, but I'll certainly never be mistaken for a native to the Spanish language. Oh well. Just for your information, the subject of this post is apparently the basic translation of "Why Not?" Which is one of my lines in the play. Apparently in Spanish it says "Because No?" Don't ask me, I just trust the Spanish teacher.
On another note, I did get my doctrine's paper back, and while it was nowhere near the grade I wanted, comparatively it wasn't so bad. I didn't meet my standards, but compared to most of the class it was a good grade. So I guess I'll take it and learn from it.
On yet another note, there are only 4 and a half weeks left of the regular semester. It doesn't seem possible. It seems like longer until you start thinking about how many weekends that is. Not very many that's for sure. Since I'm staying for post-term classes, I have 6 and a half weeks left, but still, that's not very long. It's hard to imagine where the semester has gone. Kind of scary actually.
On another note, I did get my doctrine's paper back, and while it was nowhere near the grade I wanted, comparatively it wasn't so bad. I didn't meet my standards, but compared to most of the class it was a good grade. So I guess I'll take it and learn from it.
On yet another note, there are only 4 and a half weeks left of the regular semester. It doesn't seem possible. It seems like longer until you start thinking about how many weekends that is. Not very many that's for sure. Since I'm staying for post-term classes, I have 6 and a half weeks left, but still, that's not very long. It's hard to imagine where the semester has gone. Kind of scary actually.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
SPIKE!
So my paper was handed in yesterday. Nevermore to be touched by me. Well, until he hands it back that is. Hopefully it meets the teacher's approval. I don't think I wrote heresy at least. So yes, on to more loads of homework. I do get to play a little intramural volleyball tonight, which should be lots of fun.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Pneuma-WHAT?
I am in the throngs of a research paper for Doctrine 2 class. It has to relate to the subject of Pneumatology, which is the study of the Holy Spirit for those of you like me who didn't know that. I'm writing about Spiritual Gifts and I'm ready to throw it out the window. I wish we could just all agree so there wouldn't be so many opinions. Granted, differing opinions are helpful in a research paper, but frankly, there are just to many. But, I will be pouring myself into this all day and hopefully will get it done by sleepy time tonight. Hopefully it will be quality work as well. :-)
I'm sure you're aware that tomorrow is Easter, and presuming that I get my paper done, I will be going to spend the day with some friends at their extension church. The family they stay with are old friends of my parents, so I know I'm welcome. It'll be much better than being lonely on campus all day.
Well enough chatter, I'm off to bury myself in my research.
I'm sure you're aware that tomorrow is Easter, and presuming that I get my paper done, I will be going to spend the day with some friends at their extension church. The family they stay with are old friends of my parents, so I know I'm welcome. It'll be much better than being lonely on campus all day.
Well enough chatter, I'm off to bury myself in my research.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
About the New Look
I read back over my previous post and I now feel the need to talk a little bit about why I changed the look of this blog.
Here's what I had to say in the last post: (just in case you're fingers are too tired to scroll down and find it :-)
I've changed the look of this blog, because as with much of my life, it's changed a lot since coming to school. I'm not the person I was this summer when I started this blog, and praise the Lord for that. So the look has changed to one of a harbor seen. Because as the new title and description now say, I'm on a journey of trusting the Lord. That's what life is as a Christian, glorifying God with everything I do, and trusting Him for EVERYTHING.I hope you like the new look.
So yes, there is now a lighthouse prominent on this page. As I said, my life has changed so much since I started this blog. Most of it for the better. I don't want to go back to the person I was when this started. Being a Christian now means more to me than it ever did before.
Oh I was a Christian before, and I thought I knew about loving the Lord, but now, it's so different. I'm learning what it really means to love the Lord, and to do it with your whole heart. I'm learning what true dependence on God is, and what true submission is. I've learned that my entire life has to be all about God's glory. I've said it before, but I don't think I ever really understood it. I'm still learning and trying to understand, something I guess I'll spend most of my life doing.
I hope I never stop learning. When I think of all the things I could learn here at Bible College, 4 years doesn't seem to be enough. There's so much I want to learn, and to learn it all would take more than 4 years. And yet I know there is a point when we must go out and start another part of life. As far as I know, that's still 3 years into the future, but it was on my mind today.
Our Missions conference started today during chapel. We have meetings tonight through Thursday evening, and workshops all day Wednesday-Friday. I've been thinking a lot lately about Summer plans, and plans for my future. Not that I need to know what they all are, but it's been on my mind and heart. I've felt tired when thinking about having to do something other than going to classes and my schedule here, almost like it was to much work to do something else. But today, I ran into the future.
Not my literal future, as far as I know, but I was offered a glimpse of someone's life. As a member of Heartbeat for Missions, I and a guy student are responsible to host a missionary couple. Their names are Roberto and Patricia Cuehlo, and they're on deputation to be missionaries in Brazil. They both grew up in Brazil, Patricia as a native and Roberto as a Missionary Kid. As we sat and ate lunch, I was sharing what brought me here to school, and Roberto was talking to another student about coming to Brazil. As we shared I suddenly remembered why I'm here on campus. I saw in them a heart to serve the Lord, and to be used of them. As Roberto teased this guy about being God's messenger to tell him he needed to go to Brazil when he finished school, I suddenly wondered if someday that would be me ready to go, or telling others to go. And I suddenly wanted it to be. The tiredness was gone, and I remembered my purpose.
It amazes me at times how easy it is to lose sight of what's really important. I don't know where I'll be 4 years from now, or what ministry opportunities I'll have in the meantime, but I do remember who I'm serving. I'm here at school to learn to serve the Lord better in order to glorify Him with my life. Even when I was remembering that I was here at school for the Lord, I had not taken time to remember my passion. I saw a possible future today, in the Cuehlos. I saw God working 2 lives together to accomplish His purpose. As I shared my story with them, I was reminded of the awesomeness of God in bringing me here, and how He was in control every step of the way. God is so sovereign.
So I have a new name for my blog and a new background. The background is that of a lighthouse on a harbor, and the title is "A Journey of Trust". It is such because of all of this. Using the analogy of a ship on the sea, there are times in life when the waves come strong and I feel that this ship of life is going to sink. The storm is so strong that I can't see the light from the lighthouse. But yet I know it's there. As I seek to make this journey, it becomes one of trust. There are times when we simple have to let go and trust that God will get us to that harbor and that lighthouse. It may never be until Heaven, but we must continue on in the journey with trust in our Heavenly Father.
So I choose to have "A Journey of Trust". It truly is a journey, because I never trust completely like I should. There are days when I feel I have trusted with everything I have, then the next day I take it all back and try to do it myself again. But I keep on the journey to trust. Knowing that it's only through Christ that I can even have trust, let alone life and salvation.
A song lyric comes to mind right now. "Calmer of the Storm"
For even though I wish that God would calm this storm, I know His way is perfect, and that I truly just need to trust Him.
The first chorus contains this line:
"There on the storm I am learning to let go Of the will that I so long to control"
The last chorus however, contains this line:
"There on the storm, teach me God to understand Of the Will that I just cannot control"
What a change in perspective.
"Let me not control this will and this storm Lord, but rather let me understand that I cannot control it. And if I never understand, well that's ok to. Because you are great and awesome, and worthy to be praised. I give it all to you, and trust YOU and you alone to lead me on this Journey of Trust."
Here's what I had to say in the last post: (just in case you're fingers are too tired to scroll down and find it :-)
I've changed the look of this blog, because as with much of my life, it's changed a lot since coming to school. I'm not the person I was this summer when I started this blog, and praise the Lord for that. So the look has changed to one of a harbor seen. Because as the new title and description now say, I'm on a journey of trusting the Lord. That's what life is as a Christian, glorifying God with everything I do, and trusting Him for EVERYTHING.I hope you like the new look.
So yes, there is now a lighthouse prominent on this page. As I said, my life has changed so much since I started this blog. Most of it for the better. I don't want to go back to the person I was when this started. Being a Christian now means more to me than it ever did before.
Oh I was a Christian before, and I thought I knew about loving the Lord, but now, it's so different. I'm learning what it really means to love the Lord, and to do it with your whole heart. I'm learning what true dependence on God is, and what true submission is. I've learned that my entire life has to be all about God's glory. I've said it before, but I don't think I ever really understood it. I'm still learning and trying to understand, something I guess I'll spend most of my life doing.
I hope I never stop learning. When I think of all the things I could learn here at Bible College, 4 years doesn't seem to be enough. There's so much I want to learn, and to learn it all would take more than 4 years. And yet I know there is a point when we must go out and start another part of life. As far as I know, that's still 3 years into the future, but it was on my mind today.
Our Missions conference started today during chapel. We have meetings tonight through Thursday evening, and workshops all day Wednesday-Friday. I've been thinking a lot lately about Summer plans, and plans for my future. Not that I need to know what they all are, but it's been on my mind and heart. I've felt tired when thinking about having to do something other than going to classes and my schedule here, almost like it was to much work to do something else. But today, I ran into the future.
Not my literal future, as far as I know, but I was offered a glimpse of someone's life. As a member of Heartbeat for Missions, I and a guy student are responsible to host a missionary couple. Their names are Roberto and Patricia Cuehlo, and they're on deputation to be missionaries in Brazil. They both grew up in Brazil, Patricia as a native and Roberto as a Missionary Kid. As we sat and ate lunch, I was sharing what brought me here to school, and Roberto was talking to another student about coming to Brazil. As we shared I suddenly remembered why I'm here on campus. I saw in them a heart to serve the Lord, and to be used of them. As Roberto teased this guy about being God's messenger to tell him he needed to go to Brazil when he finished school, I suddenly wondered if someday that would be me ready to go, or telling others to go. And I suddenly wanted it to be. The tiredness was gone, and I remembered my purpose.
It amazes me at times how easy it is to lose sight of what's really important. I don't know where I'll be 4 years from now, or what ministry opportunities I'll have in the meantime, but I do remember who I'm serving. I'm here at school to learn to serve the Lord better in order to glorify Him with my life. Even when I was remembering that I was here at school for the Lord, I had not taken time to remember my passion. I saw a possible future today, in the Cuehlos. I saw God working 2 lives together to accomplish His purpose. As I shared my story with them, I was reminded of the awesomeness of God in bringing me here, and how He was in control every step of the way. God is so sovereign.
So I have a new name for my blog and a new background. The background is that of a lighthouse on a harbor, and the title is "A Journey of Trust". It is such because of all of this. Using the analogy of a ship on the sea, there are times in life when the waves come strong and I feel that this ship of life is going to sink. The storm is so strong that I can't see the light from the lighthouse. But yet I know it's there. As I seek to make this journey, it becomes one of trust. There are times when we simple have to let go and trust that God will get us to that harbor and that lighthouse. It may never be until Heaven, but we must continue on in the journey with trust in our Heavenly Father.
So I choose to have "A Journey of Trust". It truly is a journey, because I never trust completely like I should. There are days when I feel I have trusted with everything I have, then the next day I take it all back and try to do it myself again. But I keep on the journey to trust. Knowing that it's only through Christ that I can even have trust, let alone life and salvation.
A song lyric comes to mind right now. "Calmer of the Storm"
For even though I wish that God would calm this storm, I know His way is perfect, and that I truly just need to trust Him.
The first chorus contains this line:
"There on the storm I am learning to let go Of the will that I so long to control"
The last chorus however, contains this line:
"There on the storm, teach me God to understand Of the Will that I just cannot control"
What a change in perspective.
"Let me not control this will and this storm Lord, but rather let me understand that I cannot control it. And if I never understand, well that's ok to. Because you are great and awesome, and worthy to be praised. I give it all to you, and trust YOU and you alone to lead me on this Journey of Trust."
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Trust and a New Look
The fact that there are no posts from February should say something about my life at this point. I'm not totally sure what beyond the fact that I've been incredibly busy and trying to focus on the important things. I haven't totally succeeded in that, but I'm trying. Above all, The Lord is Good!
My parents were down south (for Minnesota) this weekend, and we got to spend some good time together. I hadn't seen them since Christmas break so it was very, very good to see them.
School is going well, busy but good overall. I've been trying to spend a lot more time in my books and studying so I think that's helping a lot. I'm certainly learning many great and new things.
I was laid off of my job affective about 2 weeks ago, so that's given me some more time lately. Granted some of it's been taken up with unexpected things, but I have managed to take at least one nap. This afternoon I'm planning on a very, very long nap as well. I have been staying somewhat busy working on campus by taking mail to the post office in the afternoons and cleaning the bathrooms and entryway of the dining hall in the evenings.
Next week from Tuesday evening until Friday around noon we have our annual Missions conference on campus. Along with a guy on campus I'm hosting a missionary couple for the week by introducing them in their sessions and being there for whatever they need while they're here. It should be an awesome opportunity to get to know them and learn a great deal. They also cancel classes for Wednesday-Friday, so that's always a bonus.
Starting that Friday after the conference, we are officially on Spring Break. Praise the Lord! Although I'm astounded at how quickly this semester has gone. Testimony to that is the fact that I haven't posted in over a month. It's been crazy but good. I'm learning a lot.
I'm definitely learning a lot about humility and trusting the Lord. I'm especially learning this by not doing it. Yeah, I know. But God is faithful and continues to pick me up and set my feet on a rock.
I'm excited to be home and holding babies (Emma particularily) and seeing those of you at home. Hopefully it will be a profitable week where homework is concerned because I really need to get ahead on some things as well as write a few papers.
I've changed the look of this blog, because as with much of my life, it's changed a lot since coming to school. I'm not the person I was this summer when I started this blog, and praise the Lord for that. So the look has changed to one of a harbor seen. Because as the new title and description now say, I'm on a journey of trusting the Lord. That's what life is as a Christian, glorifying God with everything I do, and trusting Him for EVERYTHING.
I hope you like the new look.
Well that's it for now, except to say thanks for coming back to read after so long. Take care and keep trusting the Lord.
My parents were down south (for Minnesota) this weekend, and we got to spend some good time together. I hadn't seen them since Christmas break so it was very, very good to see them.
School is going well, busy but good overall. I've been trying to spend a lot more time in my books and studying so I think that's helping a lot. I'm certainly learning many great and new things.
I was laid off of my job affective about 2 weeks ago, so that's given me some more time lately. Granted some of it's been taken up with unexpected things, but I have managed to take at least one nap. This afternoon I'm planning on a very, very long nap as well. I have been staying somewhat busy working on campus by taking mail to the post office in the afternoons and cleaning the bathrooms and entryway of the dining hall in the evenings.
Next week from Tuesday evening until Friday around noon we have our annual Missions conference on campus. Along with a guy on campus I'm hosting a missionary couple for the week by introducing them in their sessions and being there for whatever they need while they're here. It should be an awesome opportunity to get to know them and learn a great deal. They also cancel classes for Wednesday-Friday, so that's always a bonus.
Starting that Friday after the conference, we are officially on Spring Break. Praise the Lord! Although I'm astounded at how quickly this semester has gone. Testimony to that is the fact that I haven't posted in over a month. It's been crazy but good. I'm learning a lot.
I'm definitely learning a lot about humility and trusting the Lord. I'm especially learning this by not doing it. Yeah, I know. But God is faithful and continues to pick me up and set my feet on a rock.
I'm excited to be home and holding babies (Emma particularily) and seeing those of you at home. Hopefully it will be a profitable week where homework is concerned because I really need to get ahead on some things as well as write a few papers.
I've changed the look of this blog, because as with much of my life, it's changed a lot since coming to school. I'm not the person I was this summer when I started this blog, and praise the Lord for that. So the look has changed to one of a harbor seen. Because as the new title and description now say, I'm on a journey of trusting the Lord. That's what life is as a Christian, glorifying God with everything I do, and trusting Him for EVERYTHING.
I hope you like the new look.
Well that's it for now, except to say thanks for coming back to read after so long. Take care and keep trusting the Lord.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
no capitol letters, no words period.
Well, I will use caps in the post, but not for the subject. I once again am so tired I just want to crawl into bed for a week. But, no breaks for me. I have so much to do and so little time. So this is just to let you know that I am alive, and that if you don't hear from me this semester, don't be surprised. Well, not really but this is certainly not my first priority. Sleep well friends!
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Let Wonder Replace Worry
It's after 11:30 Wednesday night. I should be in bed sleeping. Instead I'm reading some quotes and trying to get the "g" key on the keyboard to stop sticking. Right now any word with a "g" in it is causing me some minor difficulties. I have found some rather challenging quotes in the pile I've been reading, including the one used as the subject of this post. I'll share the other three that have me pondering this evening.
I have never heard of a tombstone that said, "I wish I would have worked more".
Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell your storm how big your God is.
Attitude is the difference between ordeal and adventure.
4 Days from now I will be back in the dorm at college. I'll be in a new room with a new roommate. Tonight I feel as though it's a long way off. It's been a very weird break. A lot of things have changed and become reality over break. It's true though, no matter how hard you and your college try not to put you in a bubble, you really are. I've been back in the "real" world for almost 3 weeks now, and as this time comes to an end, I have a few thoughts to share with you.
I have never heard of a tombstone that said, "I wish I would have worked more".
This quote is so true. In my logic class this fall, the instructor asked us all to write down why we were attending college, in essence, what was the point of being there? I wrote a list, but the first thing on my list was this, "To be better equipped to serve the Lord." We all seemed to think that we would discuss what we had all written down, but Mr. Hudson simply challenged us and then said the statement that is the summary of why we should be at Bible college. I will qualify by saying this is his opinion but I think it's totally true. "To learn how to better glorify God". Period. Our entire lives are to be made up of glorifying God. How often I fail.
Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell your storm how big your God is.
It seems that we so often are so self-centered that we only see the world as how it affects us. Less than 2 weeks ago over 100,000 people died. I don't want to know how this tragedy is going to affect the world, or how it relates to us except for one fact. Less than 2 weeks ago over 100,000 people died, and how many of them are now burning in hell because they didn't believe? That sounds harsh, well it is. God is big, He's incomprehensible, and we have a world to tell that to. Forget you, glorify God by spending HIS life in you serving others. How often I fail at this.
Attitude is the difference between ordeal and adventure.
We are only given one life. We never know how long it will last. Oh, how many times we've all heard that. I wonder what it will take for that to really sink in though. I hear about a teenager killed in a car crash and think, well that will never be me. A girl by the name of Katie Poirer comes to mind. She was simply working at a convenience store, doing her job, when her life changed and was ended. I want to live adventures. I want to travel the world and experience things I've never known. But as I dream about doing that, somewhere inside of me I wonder if and when I get to the top of the Great Wall, the Eiffel Tower, when I see the ocean, or a kangaroo hopping about, or hear the London Symphony play, will I truly be in awe and feel the magnificence?
Then I picture holding a starving baby in India, or listening to drums beat in South America, or help girls escape "slavery" in Nepal, or simply be a nanny in Italy, or simply work in a "typical" American job for the rest of my life, will I see an adventure in that?
I know this, life can be an ordeal, but I pray tonight that I will have lived my life to the glory of God. As I look back over the last 3 weeks I realize that I wanted to "do" so much more. I wanted to serve more. Then I say well it will be different next time. I pray that I don't get to the end of my life and wish that I had a next time.
May we embrace Adventure, tell the storms how big God is, live unselfishly, stand in wonder and awe, and truly glorify God with the time He has given us.
I have never heard of a tombstone that said, "I wish I would have worked more".
Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell your storm how big your God is.
Attitude is the difference between ordeal and adventure.
4 Days from now I will be back in the dorm at college. I'll be in a new room with a new roommate. Tonight I feel as though it's a long way off. It's been a very weird break. A lot of things have changed and become reality over break. It's true though, no matter how hard you and your college try not to put you in a bubble, you really are. I've been back in the "real" world for almost 3 weeks now, and as this time comes to an end, I have a few thoughts to share with you.
I have never heard of a tombstone that said, "I wish I would have worked more".
This quote is so true. In my logic class this fall, the instructor asked us all to write down why we were attending college, in essence, what was the point of being there? I wrote a list, but the first thing on my list was this, "To be better equipped to serve the Lord." We all seemed to think that we would discuss what we had all written down, but Mr. Hudson simply challenged us and then said the statement that is the summary of why we should be at Bible college. I will qualify by saying this is his opinion but I think it's totally true. "To learn how to better glorify God". Period. Our entire lives are to be made up of glorifying God. How often I fail.
Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell your storm how big your God is.
It seems that we so often are so self-centered that we only see the world as how it affects us. Less than 2 weeks ago over 100,000 people died. I don't want to know how this tragedy is going to affect the world, or how it relates to us except for one fact. Less than 2 weeks ago over 100,000 people died, and how many of them are now burning in hell because they didn't believe? That sounds harsh, well it is. God is big, He's incomprehensible, and we have a world to tell that to. Forget you, glorify God by spending HIS life in you serving others. How often I fail at this.
Attitude is the difference between ordeal and adventure.
We are only given one life. We never know how long it will last. Oh, how many times we've all heard that. I wonder what it will take for that to really sink in though. I hear about a teenager killed in a car crash and think, well that will never be me. A girl by the name of Katie Poirer comes to mind. She was simply working at a convenience store, doing her job, when her life changed and was ended. I want to live adventures. I want to travel the world and experience things I've never known. But as I dream about doing that, somewhere inside of me I wonder if and when I get to the top of the Great Wall, the Eiffel Tower, when I see the ocean, or a kangaroo hopping about, or hear the London Symphony play, will I truly be in awe and feel the magnificence?
Then I picture holding a starving baby in India, or listening to drums beat in South America, or help girls escape "slavery" in Nepal, or simply be a nanny in Italy, or simply work in a "typical" American job for the rest of my life, will I see an adventure in that?
I know this, life can be an ordeal, but I pray tonight that I will have lived my life to the glory of God. As I look back over the last 3 weeks I realize that I wanted to "do" so much more. I wanted to serve more. Then I say well it will be different next time. I pray that I don't get to the end of my life and wish that I had a next time.
May we embrace Adventure, tell the storms how big God is, live unselfishly, stand in wonder and awe, and truly glorify God with the time He has given us.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Ask and You Shall Receive
Well for all my wishing for more snow, I certainly got my wish. As my dad and I shoveled out the 5-12 inches of snow that fell yesterday and last night, I certainly thought of ironic timing. Hopefully I'll be headed into town this evening to enjoy that snow with my college friends from here at home. It will be one of our last times all together with our "pastor" the sponsor of our group. Ahhh memories. All this powder definitely looks good for snowboarding on Friday. I pray that the weather stays nice and that I can indeed carve it up for the first time in almost 2 years. Take care and enjoy whatever weather you are enjoying. Although I must say ours is the best. :-)
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