It's the Big BIRTHDAY!!!

My first thought when I woke up at a decent time this morning:

It's our son's BIRTHday!!!

That was at 7 something, not at the 4:15am when my nurse was kind enough to bring me some toast and juice before my no more eating cutoff. I love my nurses, I really do. I firmly believe God has used them in my life and hopefully I've been used in their's. My nurse last night was Jen, and she came in before we went to sleep just to chat and answer any questions and give us an idea of what to expect today, and really, God used her to calm my spirit.

I had been excited, but also incredibly scared up to then, and after talking with her, my heart was just anticipating meeting our son. Maybe because she and her husband have had a miscarriage and are having difficulties being pregnant, so we talked about the struggles of trying to get pregnant...and that made me remember what a blessing it was just to get pregnant, how we didn't know if we'd keep this boy, and now that he wants to make an early appearance, how still incredibly blessed we are to just be having a child.

So many people would love to be in our shoes, not because of the issues, but because we're having a baby today!!!

And so, no fear, I'm just excited and praying very hard for the whole process today.
And I can't wait to meet my son and to see the expression on my husband's face when we see him for the first time.

Okay, time to cry... :-)

But really, God be praised for this whole journey and this day. We're so thankful for all our friends and loved ones who have and are praying for us. We are truly blessed beyond what we deserve.

I can't wait to introduce you to my son!!!

Tomorrow's the BIG Day!

So for the record, my attitude has improved greatly. And my day nurse yesterday and today is really lenient and lets me take breaks from the monitoring. And last night they let me off to go for a wheelchair ride and just to chill. Then when I went to bed I only had to have it on for 2 times during the night for an hour each. So, I slept better and got some reprieve.
Today I'm strapped down again, but we're on a countdown...tomorrow's the big day!

TOMORROW IS BABY DAY!!!

And yes, I'm still terrified and excited all at once, but mostly just ready to meet my son and see what the future holds. I can't control the events of tomorrow, how surgery will go, how healthy baby will be, how I'll recover, etc...I just keep praying for our son's health and that we'll both have peace and be relaxed. And for the doctors who care for both me and the baby, for wisdom, steady hands, etc...
And for my husband. I almost wonder if he's got the bigger job, he's got to take care of both of us. He'll go with baby right away but I'm sure he'll be doing some running back and forth to some extent. Thankfully both my and Andy's parents will be here so that will help give him some support.
I'm so incredibly thankful and in awe of my husband. He's handled this whole situation and every circumstance with his typical steady reliability and calmness. I don't know how he does it but I'm sure thankful for him. He's taken amazing care of me and been my rock at the same time. He's been here bored with me and waited on me hand and foot and let me cry when I need to.
He's going to be an amazing Dad and I just keep hoping our son is like him, both at birth and in character as he grows. He has an amazing example before him. Okay enough or I'll be crying again. It just touches my heart to think of how our son will view his Daddy...because he's pretty incredible.

So tomorrow's the day, and today we're just hanging out trying not to think about it to much. Of course it's all we can think about.
We'll probably try to get me released from monitors later this evening long enough to get some pictures together one last time before the 2 (and a half with the dog) becomes 3.
We'll be a family of 3 (1/2) for Christmas...that's pretty cool.

Are They Trying to Drive Me Bonkers?!

So I figured it out...way back when when they used to put people in straightjackets, etc...they weren't in them because they were crazy, they became crazy being in them.
Because really, any of us when confined to a small space against our wishes will in fact start to lose our minds.
I should know, I'm on my way.

I've just been informed that I again for the 3rd day in a row have to have continuous monitoring of the baby's heartbeat via an itchy gooey monitor on my belly. Which doesn't sound so bad, except that I'm already stuck in bed let alone being held to pretty much one position or then if you move you have to readjust the monitor to pick up the baby's heartbeat again...

You'd think if I was stuck in bed being hooked up wouldn't make that big of difference, but it does. Because then you literally can't do anything. UGH...
Every little bit of freedom is worth rejoicing over. And when it's taken away, you kind of want to cry and scream.

It's just extra frustrating because it doesn't seem like the doctors get the frustration. I get that it's for the baby's well being, but really, he's been fine and even monitoring every other hour would be better.

I JUST NEED A BREAK.

I'm considering being a bad patient and refusing to be monitored. But then my nurse mother and others, including my husband, would have my head.

So I'll pretend to be a good patient and just start chewing the bed rails or something...

3 Days and Counting...

So today the doctor set an official date and time for our c-section.
Friday, December 18th at 1pm is the designated time for our son to enter the world.
Of course, things could change and we could have him sooner...it's such a rollar coaster on that front in our lives. But that's the latest we'll meet our son. Which is good news, because it was supposed to be Saturday, because that was the official 34 week mark. But they'd prefer to do a c-section on a weekday when there's more staff around and at that point he's just hours shy of being 34 weeks. Which is close enough in the doctor's mind. Mine too because that cuts a day off the bedrest and an extra day with my son...

I can't tell you how excited and terrified I am to meet our son. It occured to me today to wonder if he'll be as handsome as his dad. I hope he's a spitting image of Andy personally. Although having my chubby cheeks might be expected. If he has any chubbiness to him, which being premature he might not. Someone at Caribou said they hope he has my eyes. Which I understand, that's what I get complimented on. But really, I love Andrew's eyes so much so a big part of me hopes he has Andrew's eyes.
The very fact that I'm thinking about these things is exciting. We'll be meeting our son in less than 72 hours!!!

Then there's the terrified part that isn't sure of what to expect. There's so many unknowns when you have a preemie baby. He could do amazingly fine and we'd miraculously be home by Christmas...which would be a miracle. Or every possible unfortunate scenario could happen and he could be here for months...we just don't know. I like to think he'll be at least reasonably healthy and that we'll be relaxed about the extra challenges of having a preemie. We're not in general overly worried or obsessive people. Hopefully that will carry over with our son. Although then I worry we'll be too laid back. Ugh...stop thinking about it.

All this to say, we won't know until he's here. And so, Friday is the much anticipated arrival date for Baby Boy Preston. I can't wait to celebrate our son's official Birthday. And celebrate we will, no matter how healthy he is or isn't. Because he's our son, and he'll be entering the world by God's Grace. And that's reason to celebrate.

Baby Adventures

I'm not totally where to start this post, other than to tell you it's going to be a doozy. I'll try to be concise, but it's going to be long, so bare with me.

I have to laugh reading the last 5 posts or so. I had such a bad attitude for no reason! Now I could have so many reasons to have a bad attitude, and God has used them to show me how blessed I really am. So here's the story:

When I wrote my last post about being thankful, we were at my parents home up North. We had a great weekend with friends and family and were planning on leaving on Monday the 30th to head home. Well, that didn't happen. I woke up that morning and had some serious bleeding (sorry guys). So we made a trip to the local small hospital where they ran a bunch of tests, including an ultrasound and monitoring the baby's heartbeat. They didn't find too much but were concerned, obviously. They wanted to keep me under observation until Wednesday, which I was having none of. The bleeding had stopped and I was not willing to sit in some little hospital without an OB for 2 days. So after some convincing and phone calls, the doctor was willing to release me Tuesday morning after talking to my OB as long as she took responsibility for my care and I saw her Tuesday afternoon when we got home. Which we did, and everything was still good, so it really looked like an isolated incident.
So, I went to work on Wednesday and tried to rest up.

Thursday morning came, at exactly 4AM because I was bleeding again, ALOT, so we made a hurried trip to the ER where they promptly rushed me up to the birthing center. Where after being hooked up to monitors they deduced I was having some contractions, which I wasn't feeling much by the way. Baby was doing mostly okay with them, so they gave me some drugs that made me feel VERY interesting to stop the contractions. I spent all of Thursday in the hospital, but things really quieted down, so at about 8:30pm they let me go home. Which I was excited about. :-) So we went home, I was able to shower, do the facebook thing, greet the dog who was incredibly glad we were around again, and try to get some sleep.

At about 12:30 that night I woke up because I had some more bleeding, but thankfully my doctor is amazing and had given me her personal cell phone number and told me to call her no matter the hour if something happened. So I called her then and she said to see if it would stop or if it got worse, etc... So I went back to sleep only to wake up at 5 with more fun activities...so I called the Doctor and she said "I'll see you at the hospital" so back we went...where they admitted me for at least 24 hours for observation...which they did, observe that is. It kind of looked like things were quieting down again, until the middle of the night that is...why do things always happen in the middle of the night?

So Saturday morning the Doctor did a bunch of tests and tried to see if my water had broke. It didn't seem like it, but was definitely having issues. Baby still was doing great, but me, not so much. By right after lunch, my doctor was done observing, and made the decision that I needed to be in a hospital with a NICU just in case. Thankfully, amid the protests of my nursing friends and mom :-) They let Andy drive me down to St. Cloud. Which has the closest NICU and a great one at that. It's only about an hour from Alexandria, and between Alex and the Twin Cities.

We got to the hospital around 4pm or so, they immediately got me to ultrasound to look at the baby. Baby looked pretty good but my amniotic fluid was a little low. Once I got back to my room they hooked me up to monitors and I tried to figure out why my hips hurt soooooooo bad...well duh, it hit me and the nurse a while later, I was having contractions that weren't on the monitor 'cause they were in my hips, ouch!!! That alone was enough to convince me I didn't need the experience of labor, especially in the midst of this craziness they wouldn't let me eat because they were worried I was going to be rushed to have a c-section. Thankfully, not the case.

I made it to Sunday, and my parents came down to see us as well, which was encouraging. They finally let me eat Sunday morning, I got to take a shower and dress in scrubs and not a gross hospital gown, etc...Also, I get fun super tight stockings to keep me from getting blood clots in my legs...gross, they are not fun!! But, better than blood clots I guess. Also when I'm sleeping they have these weird leg wrap things that inflate to help keep the blood flowing back to my heart rather than my legs. Anyway, I digress.

Monday morning they did a Biophysical ultrasound on baby, which is basically an ultrasound looking at 4 things, movement, practicing breathing, muscle tone....ummm don't remember the 4th one. Anyway, he scored a perfect 8/8 and I got to see the hair on top of his head!! Yay!! He's my super cute not bald baby!
Also they measured my amniotic fluid, which had dropped from 6.9cm on Saturday to 4.2cm on Monday. Which leads them to assume somewhere in all of this that my water broke. So I got put on tons of antiobiotics to prevent baby and me from getting an infection. And they set an end date to all of this being Saturday the 19th at which time I'll be 34 weeks.

So the sum of the matter is that I'm on bedrest here in St. Cloud hospital until baby comes, which could be anyday if things change, but the latest will be Saturday the 19th, because after that they consider the risks of staying pregnant in my condition to outweigh the benefits to the baby. But we need the precious days until them if the Lord allows. We really could have the baby anyday but hopefully it will be next Saturday. I made a mini calendar for myself out of notebook paper and crayons and am counting down the days. Which is incredibly exciting and scary all at once. Not just the medical/physical side of all this, but that we really will be parents soon, like we can say the day...We hadn't planned on baby being here until at least the middle of January and possibly February because it seemed like everyone in our families goes overdue. Well, not so much now.

So the synopsis is that my placenta is damaged on the edge which is what's causing all the problems and somewhere in there my water probably broke. Add to that the fact that baby is breech and it seems like we will almost definitely be having a c-section. Which if you had told me that 2 months ago I would have been sad and upset, but really, I'm okay with it. I've never obsessed about having a "completely natural" childbirth, although I did want to try as much as possible, I was just open to the possibility it wouldn't go that way. Which it's not, and that's okay. All I pray for now is a healthy delivery of our baby and no complications. However that comes about is okay with me. I do pray also that I won't have a ton of side effects and recover quickly, especially because baby will probably be in NICU for several weeks, I would really like to be able to be with him as much and as soon as possible, but again, the Lord knows best.

So things that now make me thankful:
~Baby is handling all this incredibly well. His heart is beating strong and he's kicking well...trust me!!
~I've seen a side of my husband I could never have imagined. His care for me has been amazing and incredible. He waits on me hand and foot and holds my hand when I cry or get upset...which I do a lot these days...it's kind of a rollar coaster of emotions.
~Amazing friends and family...we've had so many people call or come visit and everyone who comes and visits brings us snacks or food or stuff to do. Plus Our super amazing adopted grandparents are caring for our "first baby" the dog, Dexter and we know we don't have to worry about him at all...although I miss him like crazy. Also a great church family who are taking care of details, like letting us borrow a car to get here since our car is still waiting to be fixed amid this insanity lately. And cleaned out our fridge and garbage and did the dishes we left there and did our dirty laundry too...who but true friends/family in Christ would do those gross things?
~Incredible nurses who make me laugh and almost overcare for me. Everyone who comes in the room, including the doctors want to know what they can get me, I'm so spoiled!! Evidenced by the nurse who sat and painted my toenails this afternoon. What a servant's heart!!
~An amazing God who's love and care overwhelms me at times. I'm so blessed that all this has been closely monitored and that He made it clear we need to be in this place where baby and I can be cared for so well. All of these things I've listed are blessings of God, and more than ever I can see how He's orchestrated the last few months of our lives to make this period as smooth as possible. God's so much more gracious than I deserve.

And so, it seems like we'll have delivered a baby within a short time...and I'm scared, and I'm excited, and I can't wait to meet this precious one God has given us. Again, I thought we'd have a big chunker of a baby, at least 9 pounds. Now if we make 5 pounds it'll be a huge blessing. So we're having a peanut instead of a chunk. And I can't wait to hold him. We are so blessed.