Counseling, Flowers, and Valentine's Day

As I typed out the subject for my post, it suddenly occured to me that all three words have to do with my beloved Andy. I shall explain them in due time of course.

First of all, counseling being short for "Pre-marital Counseling" which has a pretty serious and joking tone about it at the same time. I think often our culture views Pre-marital counseling as something to get your marriage license cheaper or for less meaningful reasons. I choose to think of it as well, I'm not sure. It's definitely nice to get a big break on the cost that Minnesota requires to get married, but it's more than that. Andy and I had our first session of counseling yesterday, and it was really good. We started out by filling out a basic application/questionnaire kind of thing, which did ask us why we want to get married and what we expected out of counseling. And it was neat to discuss and learn about each other as well as see that we do share similar thinking on some important things such as mentioned above. I think overall though, it helped the reality of marriage sink in. We've been doing a lot of focusing on our future marriage lately, rather than our future wedding. I've noticed that marriage doesn't have to be as scary as I first thought.
I find myself lately buying and reading books that have "wife, marriage, love, etc..." in the title out of a desire to learn and grow, not out of fear of failure and misery forever. If there's anything I think Pre-Marital Counseling will do for Andy and I, I think it will keep our focus on God and assure us more every day that we are supposed to get married. I love that man, and as he drove out of town tonight, and I had to turn into school, I found myself hopeful for that day that he will become my husband. I also prayed for his safety as he drove home, for I don't know what I would do without him. He really is the love of my life.

As for flowers, I seem to be engaged to a wonderfully romantic man. Last week as we celebrated Christmas with his family (Yes, it was the middle of January, don't ask), he presented me with a much needed and desired 3-hole punch. Seriously, and it's what I wanted. And not only did he get me one, but he went all out and got the deluxe push handle version, where you just have to push one handle down and it does the work for you. Yes, I thought it was sweet. But he seemed to think it wasn't romantic enough, so I was also presented with the most beautiful bouquet of red roses I have ever seen, they reminded me of velvet.
Last night after he picked me up from work he took me out to eat for pizza. The restaurant was a pizza place and an ice-cream shop in one, I just thought they both sounded yummy. He remember how last week in South Dakota I wanted Ice cream so bad but we didn't have time to stop. Pretty sweet. And today, when he picked me up from work, there was a bouquet of flowers waiting on the truck seat for me. I love that man, not just 'cause he gives me stuff, but because he thinks about me when I'm not around, and shows that through those things.

Valentine's Day is almost here. I always thought it was a pretty useless and depressing holiday. Or else it was a test to see how satisfied and content people were being single. And now that I'm approaching my first Valentine's Day as part of a couple, I realize what a big deal it's NOT, except to single people. Yes, it's an excuse to go out together and celebrate love, but seriously, the only people that have pity for single people are well, single people. I don't look down on singles this year and go "Oh poor dears, well just have fun" or whatever the standard line I always heard was. No, if there is one thing I could say to my "table for one" friends out there, it's this, be patient, you will not be single for one day longer than God wants you to be. I know, easy for me to say from my "table for two" view, but really it's true.
I know, in this season where everyday you're reminded that you're not with "the one", it's hard not to feel lonely. Well, I've got news for you, being part of a couple can be lonely too. You've got to work at it just as you do your friendships with others now.
And so, I have no other words of wisdom but this, ask God. What for specifically you ask? Well, that's the tricky part. Mostly I would say ask God to let you be what you need to be now. And please, oh please don't waste time evaluating every guy out there to see if he's "the one". You'll waste so much time and energy and lose so many friendship possibilities in the meantime.
My request to God was always this, even though I was scared to even voice it for fear of telling Him what to do. I asked to be surprised. I had been hurt and wanted to be surprised by love. I wanted "the one" to find me, not the other way around. And frankly, God answered that prayer. Andrew was a surprise to me, and one that didn't seem right. "The one" was a joke...it wasn't him. Until I saw him for the surprise from the Lord he was, and the perfect valentine for me.
So, all that to say this, know that there is nothing wrong with you, and frankly, I think you're wonderful.
Yes, in some ways valentine's day is easier this year, because I don't have to worry about a date or if "that guy" (who last year wasn't Andy, as I said, I was surprised) will use this as a chance to share his feelings. But really, God's best is worth waiting for. Valentine's Day will come and go, for many years to come, but waiting for God's best is always timeless.

God's best is priceless and indescribable. People ask me why I love Andy. I'm always at a loss for words because how do you describe true love? There are no right words. But this I know, I love Andy because he's God's best for me. He loves God and wants me to love God with all my heart. I love Andy because he's my Andy, and I choose to love him. I love him because he's the one God has given me, there's not better way to say it. I love him because I'm me and he's him, and God surprised us.

So here's a "ahhh" story to give you a little encouragement that you just never know this Valentine's Day. Last spring, maybe late March, early April, I was sitting in Mr. Hudson's office (my advisor) talking about school and classes for the next fall and basically what I was going to do with my life, when my cell phone rang. I had forgotten to turn it to silent and when I looked at the caller ID my face must have had a funny expression because Mr. Hudson asked what the deal was. As I hit "ignore" on my phone I explained that this guy had been writing me for about 9 months and calling and just being a good friend, but I didn't know what he wanted and I didn't want to waste my time on a guy that was just a good friend. He gave me some advice and I went on my way shaking my head at this situation. Well, like I said that was about 9-10 months ago, and yesterday as I sat in Mr. Hudson's office receiving pre-marital counseling with "this guy", I had to laugh. Who would have ever thought 9-10 months later I'd be in the same office preparing to marry that "good friend". Only God did. I could never have imagined or dreamt up such a scenario, it was just too unbelievable and he was just a "good friend". That's why I can say that God's ways really are better than our ways. Because my imagination can't keep up with God's plan for my life.

So trust God friend, and let Him surprise you. It's worth it.