I've decided that I need to be posting more regularly, like back when I first started this blog over a year ago. So that requires less serious topics at times, which those of you who have been gagging at all my emotional touchy-feely stuff lately will hopefully appreciate. Although I don't think that many of you are well, many in number. So now I'm rambling. On to today's thought.
It's rather silly really, but food has been on my mind a lot lately. Being a college student tends to get you the stereotype of always being hungry. I have one explanation for that, and I won't expound to point of insult, dining hall food. It leaves a lot to be desired. Since I've started working some evenings that require I miss dinner the dining hall is kind enough to pack me a sack lunch of my request for dinner. I get the feeling I'll be getting sick of Peanut Butter and Jelly by the time this semester is over. I hope our finances are such that Andy and I will have a few more choices than that, or I might go nutty (pun intended). I will admit that I'm rather bitter about my college not offering a meal plan. It's all or nothing here, and frankly, some days I'd rather have nothing. It would certainly be nice to only pay for say 10-15 meals a week and be able to cook in my room or elsewhere for the others. But if I do that now I feel guilty because I'm paying for food that I technically already paid for in the dining hall. I feel the same guilt when I don't make it to breakfast before class in the morning. Like somehow I've shorted myself and haven't gotten my money's worth.
As poor of a cook as I am (well actually it's just lack of experience) I do look forward to having our own home (apartment/home same thing) and cooking dinner most nights. Thankfully Andy is a great cook and a patient man when it comes to my cooking. I just need more experience and time to know what I'm doing. I don't cook bad things, I'm just limited as to what I know how to cook. 5 months from now we'll have been married for 3 weeks and hopefully neither one of us will be malnourished. Yes, Andy's a good cook so I could just let him cook, but something inside me, the nurturer and wife I guess, wants to do the cooking. We'll see if I still feel that after many trial and error meals.
There's also the issue of my eating habits. They vary quite a bit from Andy's. Yes, His are better. I will shamefully admit to being a picky eater, but I am trying to get better. Andy is ever encouraging me to try more things, and for him, well I'm working on it.
I've given myself a time frame of before we have our first child I need to be eating healthier and eating a larger variety of foods. That's my goal anyway. And like most things in life, it just takes doing. Which reminds me, I should go finish my homework.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Counseling, Flowers, and Valentine's Day
As I typed out the subject for my post, it suddenly occured to me that all three words have to do with my beloved Andy. I shall explain them in due time of course.
First of all, counseling being short for "Pre-marital Counseling" which has a pretty serious and joking tone about it at the same time. I think often our culture views Pre-marital counseling as something to get your marriage license cheaper or for less meaningful reasons. I choose to think of it as well, I'm not sure. It's definitely nice to get a big break on the cost that Minnesota requires to get married, but it's more than that. Andy and I had our first session of counseling yesterday, and it was really good. We started out by filling out a basic application/questionnaire kind of thing, which did ask us why we want to get married and what we expected out of counseling. And it was neat to discuss and learn about each other as well as see that we do share similar thinking on some important things such as mentioned above. I think overall though, it helped the reality of marriage sink in. We've been doing a lot of focusing on our future marriage lately, rather than our future wedding. I've noticed that marriage doesn't have to be as scary as I first thought.
I find myself lately buying and reading books that have "wife, marriage, love, etc..." in the title out of a desire to learn and grow, not out of fear of failure and misery forever. If there's anything I think Pre-Marital Counseling will do for Andy and I, I think it will keep our focus on God and assure us more every day that we are supposed to get married. I love that man, and as he drove out of town tonight, and I had to turn into school, I found myself hopeful for that day that he will become my husband. I also prayed for his safety as he drove home, for I don't know what I would do without him. He really is the love of my life.
As for flowers, I seem to be engaged to a wonderfully romantic man. Last week as we celebrated Christmas with his family (Yes, it was the middle of January, don't ask), he presented me with a much needed and desired 3-hole punch. Seriously, and it's what I wanted. And not only did he get me one, but he went all out and got the deluxe push handle version, where you just have to push one handle down and it does the work for you. Yes, I thought it was sweet. But he seemed to think it wasn't romantic enough, so I was also presented with the most beautiful bouquet of red roses I have ever seen, they reminded me of velvet.
Last night after he picked me up from work he took me out to eat for pizza. The restaurant was a pizza place and an ice-cream shop in one, I just thought they both sounded yummy. He remember how last week in South Dakota I wanted Ice cream so bad but we didn't have time to stop. Pretty sweet. And today, when he picked me up from work, there was a bouquet of flowers waiting on the truck seat for me. I love that man, not just 'cause he gives me stuff, but because he thinks about me when I'm not around, and shows that through those things.
Valentine's Day is almost here. I always thought it was a pretty useless and depressing holiday. Or else it was a test to see how satisfied and content people were being single. And now that I'm approaching my first Valentine's Day as part of a couple, I realize what a big deal it's NOT, except to single people. Yes, it's an excuse to go out together and celebrate love, but seriously, the only people that have pity for single people are well, single people. I don't look down on singles this year and go "Oh poor dears, well just have fun" or whatever the standard line I always heard was. No, if there is one thing I could say to my "table for one" friends out there, it's this, be patient, you will not be single for one day longer than God wants you to be. I know, easy for me to say from my "table for two" view, but really it's true.
I know, in this season where everyday you're reminded that you're not with "the one", it's hard not to feel lonely. Well, I've got news for you, being part of a couple can be lonely too. You've got to work at it just as you do your friendships with others now.
And so, I have no other words of wisdom but this, ask God. What for specifically you ask? Well, that's the tricky part. Mostly I would say ask God to let you be what you need to be now. And please, oh please don't waste time evaluating every guy out there to see if he's "the one". You'll waste so much time and energy and lose so many friendship possibilities in the meantime.
My request to God was always this, even though I was scared to even voice it for fear of telling Him what to do. I asked to be surprised. I had been hurt and wanted to be surprised by love. I wanted "the one" to find me, not the other way around. And frankly, God answered that prayer. Andrew was a surprise to me, and one that didn't seem right. "The one" was a joke...it wasn't him. Until I saw him for the surprise from the Lord he was, and the perfect valentine for me.
So, all that to say this, know that there is nothing wrong with you, and frankly, I think you're wonderful.
Yes, in some ways valentine's day is easier this year, because I don't have to worry about a date or if "that guy" (who last year wasn't Andy, as I said, I was surprised) will use this as a chance to share his feelings. But really, God's best is worth waiting for. Valentine's Day will come and go, for many years to come, but waiting for God's best is always timeless.
God's best is priceless and indescribable. People ask me why I love Andy. I'm always at a loss for words because how do you describe true love? There are no right words. But this I know, I love Andy because he's God's best for me. He loves God and wants me to love God with all my heart. I love Andy because he's my Andy, and I choose to love him. I love him because he's the one God has given me, there's not better way to say it. I love him because I'm me and he's him, and God surprised us.
So here's a "ahhh" story to give you a little encouragement that you just never know this Valentine's Day. Last spring, maybe late March, early April, I was sitting in Mr. Hudson's office (my advisor) talking about school and classes for the next fall and basically what I was going to do with my life, when my cell phone rang. I had forgotten to turn it to silent and when I looked at the caller ID my face must have had a funny expression because Mr. Hudson asked what the deal was. As I hit "ignore" on my phone I explained that this guy had been writing me for about 9 months and calling and just being a good friend, but I didn't know what he wanted and I didn't want to waste my time on a guy that was just a good friend. He gave me some advice and I went on my way shaking my head at this situation. Well, like I said that was about 9-10 months ago, and yesterday as I sat in Mr. Hudson's office receiving pre-marital counseling with "this guy", I had to laugh. Who would have ever thought 9-10 months later I'd be in the same office preparing to marry that "good friend". Only God did. I could never have imagined or dreamt up such a scenario, it was just too unbelievable and he was just a "good friend". That's why I can say that God's ways really are better than our ways. Because my imagination can't keep up with God's plan for my life.
So trust God friend, and let Him surprise you. It's worth it.
First of all, counseling being short for "Pre-marital Counseling" which has a pretty serious and joking tone about it at the same time. I think often our culture views Pre-marital counseling as something to get your marriage license cheaper or for less meaningful reasons. I choose to think of it as well, I'm not sure. It's definitely nice to get a big break on the cost that Minnesota requires to get married, but it's more than that. Andy and I had our first session of counseling yesterday, and it was really good. We started out by filling out a basic application/questionnaire kind of thing, which did ask us why we want to get married and what we expected out of counseling. And it was neat to discuss and learn about each other as well as see that we do share similar thinking on some important things such as mentioned above. I think overall though, it helped the reality of marriage sink in. We've been doing a lot of focusing on our future marriage lately, rather than our future wedding. I've noticed that marriage doesn't have to be as scary as I first thought.
I find myself lately buying and reading books that have "wife, marriage, love, etc..." in the title out of a desire to learn and grow, not out of fear of failure and misery forever. If there's anything I think Pre-Marital Counseling will do for Andy and I, I think it will keep our focus on God and assure us more every day that we are supposed to get married. I love that man, and as he drove out of town tonight, and I had to turn into school, I found myself hopeful for that day that he will become my husband. I also prayed for his safety as he drove home, for I don't know what I would do without him. He really is the love of my life.
As for flowers, I seem to be engaged to a wonderfully romantic man. Last week as we celebrated Christmas with his family (Yes, it was the middle of January, don't ask), he presented me with a much needed and desired 3-hole punch. Seriously, and it's what I wanted. And not only did he get me one, but he went all out and got the deluxe push handle version, where you just have to push one handle down and it does the work for you. Yes, I thought it was sweet. But he seemed to think it wasn't romantic enough, so I was also presented with the most beautiful bouquet of red roses I have ever seen, they reminded me of velvet.
Last night after he picked me up from work he took me out to eat for pizza. The restaurant was a pizza place and an ice-cream shop in one, I just thought they both sounded yummy. He remember how last week in South Dakota I wanted Ice cream so bad but we didn't have time to stop. Pretty sweet. And today, when he picked me up from work, there was a bouquet of flowers waiting on the truck seat for me. I love that man, not just 'cause he gives me stuff, but because he thinks about me when I'm not around, and shows that through those things.
Valentine's Day is almost here. I always thought it was a pretty useless and depressing holiday. Or else it was a test to see how satisfied and content people were being single. And now that I'm approaching my first Valentine's Day as part of a couple, I realize what a big deal it's NOT, except to single people. Yes, it's an excuse to go out together and celebrate love, but seriously, the only people that have pity for single people are well, single people. I don't look down on singles this year and go "Oh poor dears, well just have fun" or whatever the standard line I always heard was. No, if there is one thing I could say to my "table for one" friends out there, it's this, be patient, you will not be single for one day longer than God wants you to be. I know, easy for me to say from my "table for two" view, but really it's true.
I know, in this season where everyday you're reminded that you're not with "the one", it's hard not to feel lonely. Well, I've got news for you, being part of a couple can be lonely too. You've got to work at it just as you do your friendships with others now.
And so, I have no other words of wisdom but this, ask God. What for specifically you ask? Well, that's the tricky part. Mostly I would say ask God to let you be what you need to be now. And please, oh please don't waste time evaluating every guy out there to see if he's "the one". You'll waste so much time and energy and lose so many friendship possibilities in the meantime.
My request to God was always this, even though I was scared to even voice it for fear of telling Him what to do. I asked to be surprised. I had been hurt and wanted to be surprised by love. I wanted "the one" to find me, not the other way around. And frankly, God answered that prayer. Andrew was a surprise to me, and one that didn't seem right. "The one" was a joke...it wasn't him. Until I saw him for the surprise from the Lord he was, and the perfect valentine for me.
So, all that to say this, know that there is nothing wrong with you, and frankly, I think you're wonderful.
Yes, in some ways valentine's day is easier this year, because I don't have to worry about a date or if "that guy" (who last year wasn't Andy, as I said, I was surprised) will use this as a chance to share his feelings. But really, God's best is worth waiting for. Valentine's Day will come and go, for many years to come, but waiting for God's best is always timeless.
God's best is priceless and indescribable. People ask me why I love Andy. I'm always at a loss for words because how do you describe true love? There are no right words. But this I know, I love Andy because he's God's best for me. He loves God and wants me to love God with all my heart. I love Andy because he's my Andy, and I choose to love him. I love him because he's the one God has given me, there's not better way to say it. I love him because I'm me and he's him, and God surprised us.
So here's a "ahhh" story to give you a little encouragement that you just never know this Valentine's Day. Last spring, maybe late March, early April, I was sitting in Mr. Hudson's office (my advisor) talking about school and classes for the next fall and basically what I was going to do with my life, when my cell phone rang. I had forgotten to turn it to silent and when I looked at the caller ID my face must have had a funny expression because Mr. Hudson asked what the deal was. As I hit "ignore" on my phone I explained that this guy had been writing me for about 9 months and calling and just being a good friend, but I didn't know what he wanted and I didn't want to waste my time on a guy that was just a good friend. He gave me some advice and I went on my way shaking my head at this situation. Well, like I said that was about 9-10 months ago, and yesterday as I sat in Mr. Hudson's office receiving pre-marital counseling with "this guy", I had to laugh. Who would have ever thought 9-10 months later I'd be in the same office preparing to marry that "good friend". Only God did. I could never have imagined or dreamt up such a scenario, it was just too unbelievable and he was just a "good friend". That's why I can say that God's ways really are better than our ways. Because my imagination can't keep up with God's plan for my life.
So trust God friend, and let Him surprise you. It's worth it.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Wedding Plans, 2006, and Life
January 2nd, 2006.
2006.
This is the year that I'm getting married. If you had asked me last New Year's, I would say there was no way I would be engaged to the man of my dreams next year. I didn't even know what he would be like. And now, this is the year I get to marry him.
I'm home for Christmas break through the rest of this week. It's been really good to be home for 3 whole weeks, but they have been some very fast weeks. Last year Christmas break dragged on, this year, it's flown by. It was awesome to have Andy around for five days last week. I get to see him again this week, but it's pretty amazing how all I want is to spend every day with him.
My extra attention over the past 2 weeks has been taken up with wedding plans and all that goes with it. I admit though, I'm really bad at this whole wedding planning thing. I'm getting my act together, but frankly, the problem is that I feel like I'm in over my head and very overwhelmed by the whole thing. Somehow, even though I've said time and again that it wasn't true, I feel like everything has to be perfect and I have to please everyone. Thanks to a conversation with one of my good friends on Saturday, I think I've got my head on straight again. Stuff doesn't have to be perfect, just perfect for me. Not even perfect though, it just needs to be the way I want it. Not in a selfish all-consuming way, but in a way that is practical but fulfills my dreams as well. In reality, if I could have my way, I would just get to show up at the church all ready to go and walk down the aisle to marry the man of my dreams. I really don't want to elope, I do want to have a wonderful and special wedding, I just want everyone else to have to do the work for me. I know, that is selfish. :-) The thing that keeps me excited about all this is that it will make me Andrew's wife. That's definitely a goal worth pursueing.
And so this is life. And it's going to change more with every passing day, but that's okay, for the most part these are exciting changes. It's an interesting process, getting ready to join your life with someone elses. It's more than just wedding plans and apartments, etc. It's about joining two hearts, souls, minds, and lives with each other. It leaves me in awe of God's perfect plan. God was the one who said "It is not good for man to be alone", and I for one am very glad that it is so. One of the songs we will be having sung at our wedding is "How Beautiful" by Twila Paris, and it's so true, how beautiful is the love for each other, but how much more beautiful is the love Christ has for us.
And so, as 2006, this wonderful year, gets underway and I bury myself in wedding plans and more homework soon, I find myself thankful for this life, and for the man that I get to share it with very soon.
2006.
This is the year that I'm getting married. If you had asked me last New Year's, I would say there was no way I would be engaged to the man of my dreams next year. I didn't even know what he would be like. And now, this is the year I get to marry him.
I'm home for Christmas break through the rest of this week. It's been really good to be home for 3 whole weeks, but they have been some very fast weeks. Last year Christmas break dragged on, this year, it's flown by. It was awesome to have Andy around for five days last week. I get to see him again this week, but it's pretty amazing how all I want is to spend every day with him.
My extra attention over the past 2 weeks has been taken up with wedding plans and all that goes with it. I admit though, I'm really bad at this whole wedding planning thing. I'm getting my act together, but frankly, the problem is that I feel like I'm in over my head and very overwhelmed by the whole thing. Somehow, even though I've said time and again that it wasn't true, I feel like everything has to be perfect and I have to please everyone. Thanks to a conversation with one of my good friends on Saturday, I think I've got my head on straight again. Stuff doesn't have to be perfect, just perfect for me. Not even perfect though, it just needs to be the way I want it. Not in a selfish all-consuming way, but in a way that is practical but fulfills my dreams as well. In reality, if I could have my way, I would just get to show up at the church all ready to go and walk down the aisle to marry the man of my dreams. I really don't want to elope, I do want to have a wonderful and special wedding, I just want everyone else to have to do the work for me. I know, that is selfish. :-) The thing that keeps me excited about all this is that it will make me Andrew's wife. That's definitely a goal worth pursueing.
And so this is life. And it's going to change more with every passing day, but that's okay, for the most part these are exciting changes. It's an interesting process, getting ready to join your life with someone elses. It's more than just wedding plans and apartments, etc. It's about joining two hearts, souls, minds, and lives with each other. It leaves me in awe of God's perfect plan. God was the one who said "It is not good for man to be alone", and I for one am very glad that it is so. One of the songs we will be having sung at our wedding is "How Beautiful" by Twila Paris, and it's so true, how beautiful is the love for each other, but how much more beautiful is the love Christ has for us.
And so, as 2006, this wonderful year, gets underway and I bury myself in wedding plans and more homework soon, I find myself thankful for this life, and for the man that I get to share it with very soon.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
The Desires of My Heart
Many of us are familiar with this verse from Psalm 37:
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
But there's so much more to this chapter than just that verse. I'm going to do something no Bible student should ever do and pick and choose a few verses to share.
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,
And He delights in his way.
24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the LORD upholds him with His hand.
Rest in the Lord, how often I've been guilty of not doing that. And tonight, as I think about the fact that it's exactly 7 months until Andy and I are married, I thank the Lord that I have not always been given what I want.
I took a nap this afternoon to try to catch up a little bit, and I remember waking up briefly from some sort of dream and feeling my finger to make sure my ring was still there. I don't know what I was dreaming about, but I remember feeling like I was losing something or someone. And I was thankful for the man who loves me above all others. What a trying adventure the past year or two has been. But now, I can see God working and having worked.
If the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, then I'm thankful that I'm not based on my goodness on my own merit, but on Christ. And as I look back over the steps of the past year, I'm thankful that God knew, God knew what I needed. God knew that I didn't need someone that I wanted, that they would only lead me further and further away from Him. God knew that I needed to go to Bible College, and to study hard. God even knew that I needed to be lonely, to seek wise counsel, to trust only on Him and put my dependence on Him. God even knew that I needed to hurt and wonder what in the world He was doing in my life. And God knew I needed Andy. God knew how it would all work out, even when I didn't and didn't think he could be right for me. God saw our hearts, and He alone knit them together. So to those of you who are waiting as I have and will forever, yes, trust in the Lord, delight in the Lord, but do the rest too. Commit your way to Him, and rest patiently. That's probably the hardest part, to Commit and then rest patiently.
I still haven't got it right, but I know this, God knew the desires of my heart far better than I did and still do. God knows what an amazing man Andy is, and he knows how we need each other. God knew I needed him when I didn't. And God saw it all. He sees us today, and He sees 7 months down the road when we'll vow before others and Him to be faithful forever. He sees it all, and He knows it all. So Commit dear friend, and Rest Patiently. God has our steps in order, and He sees them all.
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
But there's so much more to this chapter than just that verse. I'm going to do something no Bible student should ever do and pick and choose a few verses to share.
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,
And He delights in his way.
24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the LORD upholds him with His hand.
Rest in the Lord, how often I've been guilty of not doing that. And tonight, as I think about the fact that it's exactly 7 months until Andy and I are married, I thank the Lord that I have not always been given what I want.
I took a nap this afternoon to try to catch up a little bit, and I remember waking up briefly from some sort of dream and feeling my finger to make sure my ring was still there. I don't know what I was dreaming about, but I remember feeling like I was losing something or someone. And I was thankful for the man who loves me above all others. What a trying adventure the past year or two has been. But now, I can see God working and having worked.
If the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, then I'm thankful that I'm not based on my goodness on my own merit, but on Christ. And as I look back over the steps of the past year, I'm thankful that God knew, God knew what I needed. God knew that I didn't need someone that I wanted, that they would only lead me further and further away from Him. God knew that I needed to go to Bible College, and to study hard. God even knew that I needed to be lonely, to seek wise counsel, to trust only on Him and put my dependence on Him. God even knew that I needed to hurt and wonder what in the world He was doing in my life. And God knew I needed Andy. God knew how it would all work out, even when I didn't and didn't think he could be right for me. God saw our hearts, and He alone knit them together. So to those of you who are waiting as I have and will forever, yes, trust in the Lord, delight in the Lord, but do the rest too. Commit your way to Him, and rest patiently. That's probably the hardest part, to Commit and then rest patiently.
I still haven't got it right, but I know this, God knew the desires of my heart far better than I did and still do. God knows what an amazing man Andy is, and he knows how we need each other. God knew I needed him when I didn't. And God saw it all. He sees us today, and He sees 7 months down the road when we'll vow before others and Him to be faithful forever. He sees it all, and He knows it all. So Commit dear friend, and Rest Patiently. God has our steps in order, and He sees them all.
Monday, October 24, 2005
I Wanna Be Beautiful
Ecclesiastes 3
1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
8 A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.
9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors?
10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied.
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.
12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives,
13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.
14 I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
15 That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God requires an account of what is past.
"Beautiful" By Bethany Dillon is one of those songs that will tug at the heart of every teenage girl. While I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm still a girl, and I'm a human being. I think that somewhere inside of everyone is the desire to be "Beautiful".
"He has made everything beautiful in it's time." Some days I feel like I'm still very much unbeautiful. I feel as though I'm the negative parts of "A time to..." But yet, everything does have it's time, a time to laugh, but a time to weep as well. We shouldn't hate the weeping so much, for after the weeping comes laughter. God will make everything beautiful in it's time. Maybe that time won't be until Heaven, but that's okay, for He has put eternity into our hearts. I'm not sure I understand what all that means, but one of my Doctrine words for tomorrow's quiz is Hope and part of the definition goes like this:
"Biblical hope is more than a simple wish; it entails certainty based on God's demonstration of faithfulness to people in the history of salvation as recorded in the Scriptures and as experienced by the church."
I like this definition, especially the certainty and faithfulness part. No one does know the work that God does from the beginning to the end, but we do know that He's faithful. What He does will last forever.
So tonight I pray that my heart will become beautiful. Sometimes I see my heart and it's so wretched and ugly and full of sin, that I wonder how God could use me. But I know that I'm not finished yet, there is a season for everything. So maybe this isn't my season to be overwhelmed with incredible laughter, but I think this is my season to draw even closer to my Heavenly Father and know that He loves me. And maybe, we need to talk about that sin-scarred heart. He might still be able to do something with the pieces. Maybe something beautiful...
1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
8 A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.
9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors?
10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied.
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.
12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives,
13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.
14 I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
15 That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God requires an account of what is past.
"Beautiful" By Bethany Dillon is one of those songs that will tug at the heart of every teenage girl. While I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm still a girl, and I'm a human being. I think that somewhere inside of everyone is the desire to be "Beautiful".
"He has made everything beautiful in it's time." Some days I feel like I'm still very much unbeautiful. I feel as though I'm the negative parts of "A time to..." But yet, everything does have it's time, a time to laugh, but a time to weep as well. We shouldn't hate the weeping so much, for after the weeping comes laughter. God will make everything beautiful in it's time. Maybe that time won't be until Heaven, but that's okay, for He has put eternity into our hearts. I'm not sure I understand what all that means, but one of my Doctrine words for tomorrow's quiz is Hope and part of the definition goes like this:
"Biblical hope is more than a simple wish; it entails certainty based on God's demonstration of faithfulness to people in the history of salvation as recorded in the Scriptures and as experienced by the church."
I like this definition, especially the certainty and faithfulness part. No one does know the work that God does from the beginning to the end, but we do know that He's faithful. What He does will last forever.
So tonight I pray that my heart will become beautiful. Sometimes I see my heart and it's so wretched and ugly and full of sin, that I wonder how God could use me. But I know that I'm not finished yet, there is a season for everything. So maybe this isn't my season to be overwhelmed with incredible laughter, but I think this is my season to draw even closer to my Heavenly Father and know that He loves me. And maybe, we need to talk about that sin-scarred heart. He might still be able to do something with the pieces. Maybe something beautiful...
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