Sitting Still

It seems like since my marriage to Andrew, I've had to fight for time to just sit still. Not that he doesn't know how to relax, it's jus that his idea of relaxing is skiing or biking for miles on end. Which I've also realized is quickly becoming my idea of a good time too. But all this to say is that I'm learning to just say yes and go with him, and he's learning to sit still and just relax in random ways with me. And all that to say that yesterday, on our day off, Andy agreed to take me to supper in St. Cloud and do some random window shopping. Which sounded like a great escape to me who was starting to go stir crazy.
So we made a few visits to some camera stores, managed to find another battery for our Canon-20D, and looked at remotes for it as well. Then we made a stop at Scheel's All Sports simply because it's one of our favorite places to be and spend money. Andy usually heads straight for the biking stuff while I wander a bit. So when I caught up with him, I started looking at their clearance bike jerseys since now's the time to buy. One exciting note being that I found one, but that's a sidenote. Meanwhile we "happen" to browse through their very limited (for winter) selection of clearance bikes, since it is winter afterall. And low and behold there's a Trek Madone 4.5 in 56 cm and a 58 cm... which would be Andy's size by the way. Now, our current plan has been that after we get our tax refund this year Andy would be getting a new road bike. Seeing as his is over 20 years old and I've managed to accumulate 3 new bikes these past 2 years. I at least was planning on this costing quite a bit of money and trying to plan for that accordingly. Okay, long story short, we talk to the salesmen, Andrew takes me to a yummy dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings...yum yum! and then I talk him into buying this bike, we go back, he needs a 58cm, 'cause he's so tall! and he's then convinced to buy the bike at an amazing savings of our well, savings account. Basically even though it's last year's model, it's the bike he'd love to have, at about a grand cheaper than this year's model. So he's happy, I'm excited and vindicated, and our checkbook is even happier. Oh yeah, and we also got 2 free t-shirts out of the deal. Well, rather I got the t-shirts. He gets a bike, I get the t-shirts. Seems fair.
Andy's regret is that he wasn't buying the bike at our local bike shop but really, they didn't have this bike for this price. It stinks, but it's the way it is. And also, Scheels advertises with Andy's employer, and he'll buy the pedals and his new shoes and stuff locally. Because yes, even he agreed to move up in the world to SPD-SL pedals. Wonders never cease. So come this spring folks, look out! He'll be cruising so fast you won't even see him...wait, now I'll never catch him...hmmm...should have thought about this longer...
But really, I'm super excited for him, because he did 2 races this summer and he simply couldn't keep up with the head pack, not because he's so slow, but his bike ran out of gears. So my hope is that now he'll be able to see his true potential in speed. Because really, he's super fast!
We never did make it to Barnes and Noble, which was my goal for the evening, but that's okay, we had a great dinner and I was able to make my husband excited. It was a good night. Except now it seems that our idea of relaxing is still revolving around bikes and skis. Oh well, at least we're spending our time together!

Apples, Apples, Apples Everywhere!

I had the great joy and hilarity to go apple picking last week with my pastor's wife Pati and our friend Alison and her two children, Connor and Gillian. We had so much fun! We had one tree to pick clean and between the kids continually climbing the tree, Alison trying to go farther than the ladder and Pati would allow, and me dropping lots of apples on Gillian's head, we laughed so hard we almost cried. Plus I came home with about 10 gallons of apples! So now it's an adventure to use them all. Andy bought me a apple peeler/slicer/corer and it works great, so it'll be far less time consuming to use them all up. It seems like we'll be eating apple product all winter...mmmm...yummy... On Sunday I went to Teri's and she and I made lots and lots of applesauce/butter and cut a bunch up for pies and crisp! Yummy! Here are some fun pictures Alison and I took, evidence of how far I climbed up into the tree and then even had to still use the apple picker to get the tip top ones down, but they were the best ones! The adventure being the plastic bag I was using broke at one point just as Gillian was climbing below me. Poor child, she got showered in apples, but she laughed too and then told me she would tell her dad about it...hopefully he sees the humor too!

Catch Up

So it's only been over a year since I last posted something, but I'm definitely at a better place to be trying to keep up with a blog now. It's hard to believe where life has gone the last year. Not too many physical changes, we're still in the same house, the same town, the same jobs, but we've sure done a lot of growing in our marriage and personal lives this past year. I'd have to say while the first year of marriage was the most challenging to learn about each other, the second was definitely a time of learning to make those differences work and growing in Christ enough to put the other person first instead of trying to change those things. So it was an interesting year in our marriage but not one I'd trade for anything. But I'm sure glad to be experiencing the third year now! It's looking to be a great one! I love that marriage keeps getting better and better. It's kind of like your favorite recipe, it's always good, but you can keep trying new ways and portions to make it better. Okay poor analogy for God's great design, but it's where my brain is.

So for a brief update about our lives. This past summer was spent traveling a lot. Some of it was by bicycle, some by car. Andrew bought me my first road bike this summer, and I'm proud to say I put over 1,000 miles on between my two bikes. I got to do a bunch of group rides, which are very fast, and my first race, which was great! It's great to have something we love to do together and seperately. August found us traveling a lot by car! We spent 4 out of 5 weekends gone either at weddings, camping with friends, bike race, and family stuff. It was fun, but kind of crazy and we were glad to be home for a whole weekend when it was all said and done. This fall we've been enjoying being outdoors hiking around our local state parks and Andy's been enjoying the tomatos from our very small attempt at gardening. We made a few trips down to see his family and hopefully we'll have everybody here over Thanksgiving.

It's been an amazing last month for us as a couple and in our relationship with the Lord. I'd been praying so hard for God to kind of just shake us up (in a good way) a little bit and get us focused back on Him. He did that in ways I can't even explain but some of it was through some new friends we made who minister up North. Our church has been such a source of growth for us. Andy's involved in a "Men's Fraternity" group that meets every Thursday morning at 6 and he's been applying this so well. I've been in a Bible studay on Thursdays as well that's definitely challenging me to be a Godly wife and woman. I've also been getting poured into by several older Godly women in our church who are challenging me sooo much! It's so neat to see what God is doing in our hearts and therefore in our marriage because of us seeking Him. We're excited to see what God has for us and where He leads us from here.

So that's a quick summary of our lives. Hopefully I'll be keeping up with this more regularly and maybe even getting Andy to post some!

A Profound Taste of True Salvation and Love

Today at work a co-worker who "happens" to be a Christian said a simple but yet profound statement to me. She said "If we were perfect, we wouldn't need Jesus." I literally stopped what I was doing and just looked at her. "You're right I said, and I'd better remember that". How easily I beat myself up over repeating the same mistakes over and over again, when instead, I should repent and thank God for Jesus and salvation and the chance to again realize how much I need Him. Yes I'm supposed to become more Christ-like everyday, but Christ Himself said we need Him and need to remember our salvation always. So I've decided I don't want to be perfect, I just want to need Jesus more everyday. My incompetence is a cry to Him to be everything for and to me. I think that's something getting married has taught me. Never before have I seen all my imperfections in light of Christ's love. When my husband sees my outright sin and selfishness and loves and forgives me, I'm given a small taste of what it's like to be Christ's child.
Mr. Hudson told us in pre-marital counseling that we need to be a picture of God the Father and God the Son to the world. A picture of leadership and submission. Also a picture of Christ and believers in our forgiveness and love. I thought it was something we had to try so hard to do, and at times we do, but a lot of the time it's simply loving and forgiving each other as Christ has done. If my human sinful husband can forgive me, how could I ever doubt that Christ could? Nothing is new to Jesus, nothing is news to Him. He knows my prayers and my tears before a word leaves my lips or a thought enters my head, and yet, He tells me to bring them to Him. Nothing in this world can replace that. No matter how intimate and close I am to my husband, he doesn't know my thoughts and deepest aches. Only Christ can fulfill that need to be known so deeply. Andy does a good job, but only when I turn to Christ can I find complete understanding for everything.
Lately I find myself thinking about those times in Scripture when Jesus was tired. I sometimes get so tired all I want is to cry and sleep. Maybe Jesus felt that way, maybe He just wanted some peace. I think about how it must have felt to feel so alone on that Cross. Because Jesus was rejected by God and suffered and died, I can always find acceptance and love in the Father. His rejection lead to my salvation and acceptance. How Great A Salvation we really can have! I have a Father in Heaven who rejoices over me personally and knows what my heart cry is. Nothing On this Earth Can Compare. And may I never try to replace it with something else.

Confessions of a Time Addict

I’ve always been a dates and numbers person. Dates meaning dates on a calendar, not boys. Virtually any birthday I knew before I turned 16 is still cemented into my head. Along with my husband’s but that’s easy enough because he shares his birthday with one of my cousins. At sixteen I think my perpetual calendar turned off because I still don’t know 2 of my close friend’s birthdays but I can tell you people’s birthdays who I don’t even know anymore. Times, Days, and events seem to cement themselves into my head and then pop up at various times for no important reason.
For instance, I can tell you that in 2000 I was in upstate New York working at a camp from June 17-August 19. August 19 also being important because I was engaged on that day in 2005. The tenth of any month is now important because we were married on June 10, 2006. It was supposed to be June 17 originally which would have been very ironic with my cemented camp dates. There’s a date in September that I always think is my friend’s anniversary but they moved it to October.
Times are so annoying because every college class I ever took the time and day of it is pretty much there for good. Composition I was Monday, Wednesday, & Friday at 8am. History of Civilization the same days only 10:30am-11:30am and 3 years later. I took Algebra at 1pm everyday for a semester...that’s not easy to forget. Phone numbers also seem to embed themselves into my head, even ones that are no longer useful.
I remember laying in bed one night as a teenager wondering what I would be doing 6 months from that date, which happened to be February 13, six months would be August 13 and ever since then I pay close attention to that date. I don’t always remember what I’ve done year to year but I stop and think about it every year. I can tell you that my birthday is 13 days away (It’s July 23rd in case you wish to send flowers). This too is significant because I was first kissed by my now husband on my birthday in 2005, that was also the first time he told me he loved me (before he kissed me). Also next year is my golden birthday, which doesn’t seem like a big deal until it’s so close. I can tell you my boss’s birthday because it’s exactly 6 months different than mine. I was corrected last week about my nephew’s birthday because I thought it was Feb. 2 but it’s actually Jan. 31 which is now stuck in my head because my brother was born on the last day of a month (May) and so was my dad (June).
Don’t be offended if I haven’t mentioned you or your birthday, because trust me, even if I don’t know the exact day, the month or season is in there somewhere. It disturbs me now when I can’t remember people’s birthdays but I console myself with the "logic" that I must have only a certain capacity to remember birthdays and I still have too many useless ones floating around my head to make room for new ones.
It took me a long time in college to get some actual use out of a day planner/date book. I tended to just memorize when assignments were due. Why I couldn’t memorize information for tests no one knows, but I could tell you when the test was 2 months in advance. The farther I got into college the more I relied on my schedule book though, maybe I had again used up my capacity.
In a related issue, I tend to be a bit of a control freak. Okay, not a bit, I tend to go overboard in the control area. I like being in control of my life, knowing what’s going to happen when and where I have to be at what time, etc... Which would explain the obsessive tendencies with dates and such. I like to be able to control what’s going on, so I just memorize where I’m supposed to be and when. Obviously this attitude isn’t in the greatest conjunction with God’s will and letting Him have complete control of my life. When I was 19-20 I guess He decided to get this thought through to me in a big way. It all started with that cute guy I now call my husband. (He actually is my husband, I don’t just call him that.) When he first showed interest in me, I flipped out, quite literally. I was flattered but after 2 weeks was sure he couldn’t be the one and he wasn’t at all like the guy I planned on marrying, etc, etc, etc... So I ended the possibility. Well within 2 months (June 11th to be exact) I realized I was not acting intelligently and He and God graciously gave me a second chance. We were married a year to that Saturday (June 10) that we tried again. I graduated college early and we got married. Talk about changing well laid plans. But I think that’s when it hit me, that my ideas and plans really aren’t always what God has for me. Since then, because of that whole experience and many reminders in most areas along the way, I’m learning to "lighten up". Stuff doesn’t have to be planned down to the minute and the world is not going to end just because plans change. It still irks me to no end when stuff changes last minute and when I can’t control an experience, such as how long the line is for the bathroom when fireworks are about to stop, I still "freak out" over stupid stuff, but now, I hear that quiet still voice (The Holy Spirit) telling me to "chill-out". And if I ignore that one there’s always my friendly Holy Spirit/conscience reminder of a husband who will speak what that voice just told me.
There are some slight disadvantages to being so schedule oriented, I tend to relapse into the total opposite direction and really enjoy my down time with feeling the need to get a thing done, which isn’t good either. I can be a huge procrastinator even though I’m constantly aware of when stuff should get done. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation. I keep putting stuff off when my mind is constantly reminding me how little time I have to do something. I put a lot of pressure for specific days and events on my husband instead of just enjoying the time we have together right now. But the biggest disadvantage is my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I get so concerned about my schedule and life events that I forgot that every blessing and morsel of food and knowledge come from Him alone. Then there’s the fact that it’s not supposed to be "my schedule" or "my life" to begin with. I’m supposed to be a vessel moldable in God’s hands. It’s hard to be useful to God when interruptions happen and things don’t go according to schedule. So my exhortation to myself and to you is to be that clay in the potter’s hands. And don’t try to make yourself into a clock either.
And with that I’m off to buy a date book for my once again harried life. Don’t worry, the first thing I’ll plan on is time with my Heavenly Father asking Him to be in control of it. And maybe I’ll start writing in pencil instead of pen.